Ending the Relationship: Escaping As Much Painfulness In Any Possible Way
How to avoid as much pain as possible when you terminate a relationship. To better protect yourself there are many things you can and should do.
Ending a relationship can be very trying and one must follow the correct method in order to keep the break up from becoming a disaster.
If you are pondering the topic of how to break up with your lover, it is understood that you have come to the decision after analyzing all aspects. This means that you are of the opinion that you aspire to move out of the relationship and move on with your life without your partner. Once you have finished this, it is important not to change your mind. You should not allow your mate to sweet-talk you back into the relationship but neither should you hurt their feelings more than necessary.
You must initiate with telling them that you have recognized that the relationship is going nowhere and that you require some time alone and away from them to work out out what went wrong. You can also tell them that you don’t feel like yourself and take the blame onto yourself.
This can accomplish two things: They may understand and disappear from your life or they will try to make matters better by calling endlessly or sending notes interminably. What you should do is thank them and resist from doing anything else. If you give in, it will ruin your chances of stopping the relationship.
Next, they might say that they realise your request for space and advise that you lower the number of dates in a week, take a hiatus or take advice from a pro. It is essential to not give in because if you do, it will make them feel that as long as they can reach you, there is a chance.
Another method they may practice is to send you on a serious guilt trip. Every time the phone rings, you will hear their voice telling you how much they love you, what they have done for you and given up for you. They will also try to make you feel bad about how you made hollow promises, did not give the relationship a chance and also about how you humiliated them by breaking up.
You must keep in mind at this point that there is no point in explaining your side of the story. This will only give them another chance to change your mind or influence your thinking. At this point of time, they are only consumed by their heart. So you must not fall into the trap and save your breath by maintaining a dignified silence.
They might also try to win you back by promising gifts, marriage etc. Nevertheless, you must not lose control and remember how they normally are. It is important to remember that people may change their ways for a small period of time in order to get what they want but once they do, they go back to their old ways.
During this time, it makes sense to surround yourself with friends in order to gain moral support or to seek professional help as you will need people who believe in you.
You must also keep in mind not to use phrases like “someday” or “in the future” as this may make them feel that you are going back on your word and giving into them. You may do this in order to calm them down but they will see it as an opportunity to try harder. Keep saying the same thing and keep highlighting the fact that you do not wish to be with them as this will help to finally end the relationship.
even after a considerable amount of time has passed, it is suggested that if you run into them, be vague about your life and do not give them details about it.
After you have successfully finished the relationship, you may think that your self-esteem is low or that your have low self confidence.If so, it's highly advised that visit a psychiatrist or counselor as they will help you recover.
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