Common Communication Cliches: How they hurt you and your business

May 17
06:56

2012

Sylvia Hepler

Sylvia Hepler

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A lack of consciousness and conscientiousness is reflected in the following five communication clichés. These are very common, and they hurt you as an individual and as a professional. Identify the ones that you indulge in habitually. Ask yourself how you can stop doing them NOW.

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So much of what we communicate to other people lacks meaning and substance.  Frequently,Common Communication Cliches: How they hurt you and your business Articles we say things we don't even remember, things we don't intend, things we know aren't true.  Just how conscious are YOU of what you say and write to colleagues, bosses, Boards, and staff?  To what extent do YOU wisely invest in the messages you send?  Or are you merely on autopilot, reacting distantly and thoughtlessly to the hundreds of emails, phone calls, and paper letters you receive in a given week's time?  

When you really think about it, communication is at the core of every single task, project, idea, deal, conversation, argument, meeting, and training in which you engage.  There's no escaping it.  What you say and how you say it matters.  Your professional success depends on this.  If you don't mean what you say, your reputation suffers.  If you can't remember what you say, you lose credibility.  If you lie on a regular basis, even a little, you shoot yourself in the foot.  People figure out that you don't care enough to be deliberate, authentic, and honest in your communication with them.

A lack of consciousness and conscientiousness is reflected in the following five communication clichés.  These are very common, and they hurt you as an individual and as a professional.  Identify the ones that you indulge in habitually.  Ask yourself how you can stop doing them NOW.

1.  "Your call is very important to me.  I will get back to you before the end of the day."

Really?  How important is that call to you?  Be honest.  The truth is that a small fraction of the calls we get are important to us.  But you aren't going to put that fact into your voice mail.  So you do the politically correct thing and tell the caller that his/her message matters to you and that you will act upon it in some way.  This is disingenuous.  Every day I hear messages such as that when I phone business people, and I know from the outset that I will hear back from only a percentage of them.

What could you say instead that would preserve your integrity? Here are a few examples:  "Thank you for calling.  If your message requires a response, I will contact you within two business days."  And then do it.  Put it on your list of tasks.  Another alternative is:    "You have reached Mickey Mouse at XYZ Construction Company.  I appreciate your call.  Please leave a message."  Here you are not committing to returning the call.   At least you are forthright.  Maybe you'll return it; maybe not.  The point is to be real with the caller.  Do not over promise, because it reflects on you.  When you tell folks that you will call them back and then you fail to do it, you appear disorganized, unconcerned, and inefficient.

2.  "Let's get together to discuss your idea further."

When?  How?  Most people never follow up.  It's a great line that makes you look interested at the moment, but if you don't set a day and time to meet, you aren't really very interested, are you?  The other person knows this intuitively.  You aren't fooling anybody.  Here's the deal:  if the person's idea doesn't grab you, then don't tell her that you'll reconnect with her to talk about it.  If it does excite you, then check your calendar immediately to set a date.  Avoid delay.  Waiting a few days usually turns into not doing it. 

What could you say instead that gives you credibility?  "Let's set a date next week to talk about your idea in greater detail" works if you honestly want to learn more.  Or, "Please send me some specifics that explain your idea more comprehensively and I'll review them" if you aren't sure you want to become more involved.  The goal is to be both sincere and diplomatic.  Being phony is not an option.

3.  "Have a nice day."

Why?  What do you really mean?  What is it deep down that you wish for the other person?  Get in touch with what you want for that person.  Then communicate it in words that say when you mean.  The phrase, "nice day", is overused to the point that it doesn't mean much anymore.  Besides, what is a nice day?  Avoid empty generalities.  They sound insincere, weak, and scripted.

What could you say instead that reveals your intelligence, interest, and concern?  Try this:  "Have a high energy day!"  Another is:  "Make today a productive one."  Or, "Make a difference for somebody today!"  Be specific.  Get creative.  Pack a little substance in the sentence.  Give the person something to ponder, if only for a few seconds.  Show him that you are focusing on him briefly and want something good for him.  "Have a nice day" is bland and requires nothing from you.

4.  "I'll talk to my team." 

When?  Who?  Why?  The word "team" is used so often now it's getting worn out.  Do you really have a high functioning team?  Or is it more like a collection of people who are splintered and working in isolation?  And if you truly have a team, how do you utilize them?  Do you seek their input and feedback and then implement it as appropriate?  Or do you simply go through the motions of doing this to make them think you care about what they can contribute?  Whether you realize it or not, people know the difference.  They know if you value their opinions or if you are merely patronizing them.

What can you say instead that communicates the truth of what will take place?  "I'll present your idea to Harry" works if Harry is the only employee you intend to discuss it with.  Or, "I'll bounce this off of several key people in my department" directly states that you will solicit input from a few folks but not all.  Be sure to say that you'll take the idea to your team ONLY if you actually have a group of people in place who know what teamwork looks like and can deal with things in a team-like fashion.  Otherwise, team doesn't apply to your situation.  There are more groups of employees forced together to accomplish something than there are genuine, cohesive teams.

5.  "Give me a call".

When?  For what purpose?  When you say this, you put responsibility onto the other individual and let yourself off the hook.  When you say this, you don't necessarily want to hear from that person in the near future for a particular reason.  If you were, you would invite her to call you at a specific time to demonstrate your seriousness.  "Give me a call" sounds polite and interested, but it's not.  It's really a way to get the person out the door or off the phone so you can move onto the next thing on your schedule. This line is used so frequently that most people don't recognize it as the brush-off it is.  Nonetheless, it's a mini show stopper in most cases.  The conversation is now finished according to you.  Be aware, however, that a few folks will perceive it exactly as intended, and they may let you see that they are angry and turned off.

What could you say instead that allows you to be authentic in regards to reconnecting with that person?  Try this if you don't want to discuss the issue being proposed, if you don't want to do lunch, or if you don't support the idea put forth:  "My calendar is booked solid for the foreseeable future.  If things loosen up, I'll let you know."  Or, "I need to talk about this issue with Tom.  If he has something new to add to the discussion, I'll email you."  This, of course, implies that you'll only contact the person if Tom has something to add.  These responses combine civility and authenticity, both desired qualities.

Bottom line?  Revise your worn out scripts that take away from who you are.  Learn to say what you mean.  Remember what you say.  Speak the truth in ways people can hear it.  Employ some old fashioned civility, diplomacy, and care.  Others can feel your messages at a level far deeper than your words.  Make sure your communiqués are building your career rather than ruining it.

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