Dating Tip: 3 Warning Signs of Verbal Abuse

The date seems to be going well. Both of you enjoyed the movie and now the dialogue in the restaurant has been witty smart and filled with laughter. 

And then it happens. You make a harmless comment about the current state of affairs and your date is not happy.

"That's the dumbest thing I've heard anyone say in a long time. That's just plain stupid." 

You naturally are taken aback for a moment they've never acted like this on your previous dates. For a minute you think they are joking. They are not.  Trying to laugh it off doesn't work in fact it gets them going even more. Explaining that is was no big deal and all you were doing was making conversation doesn't work either.

So they finish their point satisfied that you now fully understand you were wrong in every way and that you have learned your lesson. They may not tell you that last part but make no mistake in their mind that is exactly what happened.

Hopefully that was just an isolated incident but it should give you pause. In a relationship arguing is one thing verbal abuse is another.

If you want to chalk it up to one of those things that is your right. You don't want to end a relationship over one occurrence particularly if your previous dates have been on the plus side. But even a once in a blue moon eruption depending on the severity should be cause for concern  If this one got you a little spooked then you may want to be on the look out for certain signs if you decide to continue the dating relationship.

1. Always Right

As the two of you have more and more conversations it becomes apparent that your significant other hates to lose an argument. It doesn't even have to be an argument. Any discussion that allows for two people to have an equally valid point of view becomes a challenge to prove you wrong. This is as you can imagine is very tiresome. After awhile you get to the point where you don't want to say anything.

2. The Intensity of Being Right

They can't just let it go at being right. It's not the discussion you mind but it’s the way they get so worked up about it. You can't even get a word in edgewise or get them to agree you made a good point. It's all about making sure you taste defeat in its purest form. They also do it with no regards to your feelings. Winning and more importantly being in control is all that matters.   

3. Instinct alert

Intuition has been known to save many of us from a bad situation. If things for the most part get back to normal check in with your instincts to get their take on your significant other. They may be telling you this is the calm before the storm and the forecast calls for bad weather for the rest of this relationship.    

There are going to be ups and downs in any relationship regardless of the efforts of either of you. But watch out. If you are dating someone who feels they always have to right and lets you know it in no uncertain terms than you may be dating a verbal abuser, a control freak, both or someone who when they get angry does not stop at just verbal abuse.