The key is to not try to manipulate the relationship to either move too fast OR
too slow. You have to let it happen on it's own at its own speed...HOWEVER...
You also need to realize that for men; contrary to the way most women work, we
need to get past the physical in order to get to the emotional elements. Until
that happens, we never get there! If that doesn't happen within our
"window of opportunity" it'll close and you'll NEVER have access to
our emotional sides.
Women want the emotional connection first however, so we guys have evolved all
sorts of systems in order to make you think we're on the same page with you
when in fact, we're not.
The answer then is for women to evolve too. You need to work on growing your
sexuality so that you are able to manage the balance between the physical and
emotional better. In fact, women control sex whereas men control the
relationship itself. It's an interesting balance if you think about it: women
want the relationship controlled by men and men want the sex controlled by
women!
The biggest problem that I see is women assuming that everyone works the same
way you do. Men do not. Thus, you'll often hold off the exact thing you'd need
in order to connect with the man you want only to find that he bangs you and
leaves!
If you work on your sexuality - embracing it and seeing it for the benefit that
it is - the timing of it comes more quickly and easily for you. You don't need
to try to manipulate the relationship artificially in order to get what you
want. You can get what you want and GIVE what you want at the same time. In
effect, both people benefit directly! This isn't threatening at all in this
case.
Have
a love, dating, sex or relationship question? You can write to me or get more
information about “Being a Man in a Woman’s World tm” by going to: http://BeingAMan.com. Be
sure to check out the new BAM! TV at http://BeingAMan.tv.
Dr. Neder is known around the world as a tough, but fair relationship expert, dealing with all sorts of dating, sex and relationship issues from a man's perspective. He has written 14 books ("Being a Man in a Woman's World™" series) and is working on 2 others. He's also written hundreds of articles, answered over 26,000 reader/viewer questions and has been on over a thousand radio and TV shows. "Dr. Dennis" is funny, direct and intuitive and has a unique ability to get right to the heart of the issue.
Do you have a burning question that needs an answer? Are you a man that wants to better experiences with women, or a woman that wants to better understand men? To learn more, go to http://beingaman.com and http://beingaman.tv. You can also follow his micro-blog at: http://twitter.com/dwneder.
