Onesimus Smith

Hot Tips This Holiday Season so You Can Get Laid Tonight

It can be difficult to be civil even if you have the best intentions, but you have to go through the anger to get to the catharsis.  These hot merry moves are more risqué than your regular spiked egg not, and can give you all sorts of opportunities to get laid tonight.

These hot merry moves are more risqué than your regular spiked egg not, and can give you all sorts of opportunities to get laid tonight.

• Give him an early present

You may get a kick out of watching “Jingle All the Way” for the nth time, but your guy will probably gag upon hearing this. So, the best thing to do is give him a holiday surprise: a snowball fight, which you won’t wuss out on; a nice back rub, which can really have you get laid tonight; or tickets to a new film. I’m sure Santa will reward you handsomely.

• Spread good tidings

Single? Here’s a good way to be merry and get laid tonight: Have a night out with your single girl friends and hand everyone a shoot of mistletoe to hang over the heads of cuties you meet. When you spy with your little eye a hot guy on the fly, say rather elfishly, “May I mistletoe, you kind sir?” Then hold the kiss me shrub above his head. I’m pretty sure he’ll be more than happy to oblige.

• Write down a lusty wish list

Have a moment to sit down with your man and list down all the hot and steamy exploits you plan to do from now till New Year’s Eve. Think: a Jacuzzi for two, a quickie under a tree, you in hot red lingerie. You’ve both been very good this year, so bone away.

• Mix seasonal cocktail

You’ll be an instant hit in the party circuit if you teach the hot bartender or host how to mix a peppermint martini. To do this, pour three ounces of vodka, ¾ ounce white crème de menthe, a splash of club soda with a scoop of ice, shake and pour into a martini glass. Boom!

• Get a fabulous holiday glow

Make your dry winter skin he-can’t-take-his-hands-off-you soft and moisturized by using a body scrub that contains sea salt or sugar mixed with hydrating oils like jojoba. Make soft circular motions from your feet up our torso to increase circulation. Do this three times a week in the shower followed up with a good moisturizer and you will have that youthful glow in no time.

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