Is It Possible to be Just Friends than Go Adult Dating with the Opposite Sex?

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HE SAID: This is the biggest adult dating cliché in the history of cross-gender relationships. Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan made this question quite popular two decades ago in “When Harry Met Sally,” experts have conducted studies and have argued the merits of heterosexual relationships countless times, and who hasn’t heard a friend say, “You can’t be friends with the opposite sex?” Regardless of what you’ve learned while growing up or what your friends say when you meet up for happy hour, both guys and girls can definitely be anywhere from good to best friends. It may not happen all the time and it may not always be easy, but it is possible.

The only reason why deep friendships between guys and girls are unsuccessful is because sexual tension starts to exist. According to most women, it is difficult to almost impossible to have a successful friendship with men because as the relationship progresses, men will surely want to take the relationship to the next level. On the other hand, according to most men, it is quite hard to maintain a friendly relationship with women if you want to have sex with them. The tension that happens between the two can get so thick that it darkens the clear waters of friendship so much that both parties are resigned to separate themselves from each other as a form of self-preservation.

SHE SAID: On a different angle, I don’t have that much trouble at all being friends with the opposite sex once I’ve crossed that line and have sex with one of them that is.

I have to admit, I don’t have much impulse control—I’ve smooched with most of my guy friends either before or after we became friends. For the guys I’ve gone out adult dating and hooked up with at some point after I’ve established a platonic relationship, it usually goes back to its state before the hookup, our curiosities satiated and our friendship intact.

I firmly believe you can be good friends with the opposite sex. I also believe that almost all these friendships—those that are outside the group hangout setting—begin with or inevitably experience some sort of sexual or romantic attraction, which can be either mutual or one-sided. So now, this does not necessarily mean you have to do something about it.

We all have important things to do, and our plate is already quite full. We already have enough friends. Nurturing a new friendship takes a lot of time and effort. And we all have to admit, we can be a little more enthusiastic to do so when we try to picture our new friend naked. There are times that it grows and just interferes with a blossoming friendship. However, this attraction fades perhaps because it wasn’t all that strong in the first place, and these friends are able to go on with it in a platonic sense.

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