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Long Distance Relationships

So youíre in Minneapolis and your one-and-only is in San Diego. Your phone bill is larger than your car note each month, and youíve worn out your fingers IMíing all night. And thatís not all- you k...

So youíre in Minneapolis and your one-and-only is in San Diego. Your phone bill is larger than your car note each month, and youíve worn out your fingers IMíing all night. And thatís not all- you know that if you tell anyone youíre involved in a long-distance relationship youíll get The Look, and then The Sigh. To most people, youíre doomed to heartbreak already. While the stereotype may not be all that great for long-distance relationships, with some effort they can blossom and flourish. That phrase ďAbsence makes the heart grow fonderĒ is there for a reason, right? So how do you do it? First, we need to set up a framework for the relationship. Communication is vital, and nothing will make a partnership crumble faster than keeping secrets and not speaking whatís on your heart and mind.

  • Set ground rules- Make sure the both of you know what to expect from the relationship. Can you see other people or are you going to be monogamous? Do you both know where the relationship is headed? Do you both have the same expectations?
  • Share costs- If youíre the one footing the phone bill every month, itís not going to take long for that to get old real fast. Make sure you both take turns calling. Better yet, find a cell phone plan that letís you talk to your favorite people for an unlimited number of minutes each month.
  • Establish trust- If you guys donít trust each other, this is never going to work. Going out and having fun while youíre apart is natural, and you shouldnít stay holed up at home just because your partner is 400 miles away. Going out, having experiences, growing as a person is part of life, and it will give you something to tell your partner about when you get home!
  • Donít just assume things are going great. Really listen to your partnerís problems when theyíre voiced, and bring up your own concerns before they get blown out of proportion. This will keep the lines of communication open and foster and open, trusting relationship. Itís also important not to assume things in their personal life. When they donít pick up your call after the third ring, it doesnít automatically mean theyíre cheating on you. Give them the benefit of the doubt, and trust them!
  • Discuss when this will end- Knowing this situation is only for 6 months or a year can help both of you deal with the separation.

So there is the groundwork for your relationship. Now for the fun stuff! How do you keep the fires burning when hundreds or thousands of miles separates you from your S.O.? Long distance relationships can be hard, thereís no doubt about it, but coming up with exciting ways to show your partner theyíre on your mind is something most at-home couples donít do much. Youíve got the advantage on this one!

  • Send CARE packages- You can come up with a fun theme. If your partner loves coffee, send them a box full of gourmet beans they wouldnít buy for themselves. You could buy one of the custom-make To-Go mugs (carried by many national coffee shop chains) and plaster it with photographs of the two of you. This is just one idea among millions, so get creative!
  • Take out a classified ad in their local newspaper and say something really sweet for all the world to see. Tell them itís in there, but make them hunt for it!
  • Watch your favorite TV show together- All right, you canít cuddle, but you could call each other during the commercials and talk about what just happened.
  • Plan a surprise weekend out- If your partner is coming up for a weekend out, make it special by taking a little road trip. Go camping, or hole up in a B&B for the weekend. Experience something new together.
  • Donít forget about the power of a letter- Thereís just something about handwritten thoughts delivered via envelope and stamp thatís timeless. Writing a real letter as opposed to an email takes time, and that time will show your partner that you really care. Plus, itís exciting to look for letters in the mailbox.
  • How about a surprise visit? If you have a key to your partnerís place, why not come up unannounced? If you can get there while theyíre still at work you can cook a special dinner, light some candles, and then watch their look of amazement when they walk through the door.
  • Make a cd full of songs you think your partner would really love, or fill it with songs that remind you of your relationship. Or you could get creative and come up with a theme- ďMy Favorite Summer SongsĒ or ďSongs For A Rainy DayĒ. Itíll make it fun to listen to, thatís for sure!
  • Buy a journal and write a page every day, but write it to your partner. It will be a book of letters you can send to them when the journal is full.
  • Send each other a piece of clothing with your perfume or cologne on it. It can be a nice thing to cuddle up to!
  • If you guys both like to read, send each other a list of your most favorite books. You can read the books on each otherís list and it will give you a bit more information about the person you love. Itís also a great conversation piece when you call!
  • Invest in web cams. If you both have a high-speed connection, these are a great way to see each other and talk everyday. To most people in a long distance relationship, theyíre worth their weight in gold.

RememberFree Articles, nothing worth having ever comes easy. If you are separated from the person you love you know that already. But if you make it through youíll have already overcome one of the hardest hurdles in your relationship. Youíll come out stronger and better for it.

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Hosted at Relationship Guidance., Bobby K is an online author and publisher on a wide range of marriage and relationship topics. For thoughtprovoking, helpful advice, reviews and recommendations, plus your oppurtunity to subscribe to my free newsletter, please visit my blog at Relationship Guidance.

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