Masculine Men’s Anti-Aging Face Care Series - How To Overcome That First Date Part 2

Mar 9
07:22

2011

Candace Chen

Candace Chen

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How To Overcome That First Date Part 2 of a 2 Part Series. Date Night. At the Restaurant/Conversation Starters. Pay Attention to Her Body Language. Saying Goodnight and Follow-Up.

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Date Night

The first date is like a job interview,Masculine Men’s Anti-Aging Face Care Series - How To Overcome That First Date Part 2    Articles so be well rested. Take a nap if you’re coming after work, or have some coffee to perk you up. Being tired can actually make you more susceptible to nervous energy. Besides, your emotional state is contagious and will set the tone for the rest of the evening. 

Be a gentleman and offer to pick her up. If she refuses and would rather meet you instead, respect her privacy. Don't take it personally! Be courteous by being on time. Bring her a small gift - fresh flowers are nice, or some tasty sweet treats. If you pick her up, don't smoke in your car before you arrive at her place. She'll think she stepped foot into a freight train instead of a romantic chariot to whisk her away.

A sincere compliment is a great way to break the ice. Tell her that she looks absolutely stunning, but keep your comments appropriate. You barely know each other! Don't comment about her legs or, ahem, specific parts of her body. She knows you're going to check her out head to toe, but do so discreetly. Don't leer or look creepy. You'd think men would know by now, but a guy I know nearly got slapped on a first date. And after he confessed to me what he said, he deserved it!

When you arrive at the restaurant, either use valet parking, or keep in mind where you parked - write it down, or come up with a mnemonic and ask your date to help you remember. Don't think about "winging it" later, because if you are going in circles in the lot, you'll look clueless. Finally, open the door and pull out the chair for her - you're being sweet, not anti-feminist!

At the Restaurant/Conversation Starters

It's ok to suggest items on the menu, especially if you know the restaurant but she doesn't, but don't order for her. Coming off as a man is in control is mighty sexy, but being controlling definitely isn't.

No roaming eyes. Don't ogle the waitress or the ladies at the bar. Pay attention to your date at all times and don't answer your cell phone - keep it on silent instead. You can always check your emails and messages when your date uses the ladies room. If you pull out your cell phone at the table, you risk sending the message that she's a really boring date to you and it's also inconsiderate.

One of the major stumblin blocks on a first date is having common interests to talk about - fortunately, current events are a great way to get the conversation going. Brush up a bit on current affairs, movies, and the arts before your date, but this will only get you so far. Hopefully, you will delve into deeper territories.

What if your date is curious about your last relationship? Don't panic! It's ok to talk about your ex-girlfriend, even if it did not end well - but your date doesn't need to know. Don't be spiteful, don't linger, and don't get emotional. Acknowledge the relationship, appeciate the lessons learned and move on to another conversation.

On that note, check your emotional baggage before you get out of the house. The first date is not the time to talk about your cheating or alcoholic ex, manic depressive parents and bumpy childhood. You shouldn't be bogus, but you can save these topics for later dates when it looks like you're growing closer together. First impressions count and you don't want her to identify you with negativity on your first outing.

Don't be alarmed if at some point the conversation moves a little slowly. Date conversations can be a little awkward, because you are trying to impress each other. When you talk about work and personal interests, come across as passionate to keep her interested. This is also a great opportunity to impress upon her that you're a good provider, but you'll want to be subtle. Let's say you love your work in the medical field. Even though she might not have any medical knowledge, she will still appreciate that you are passionate about it. Don't be cocky - confidence in a man is very sexy, arrogance never is.

During the course of dinner, remember to give her a chance to talk about herself and ask you questions. When it's your turn, ask questions that need answers where she can't just reply with a simple yes or no. For example, her career goals, or why she enjoys a certain genre in music. Think of the conversation in percentages. If you can manage to split the conversation 50/50, that would be ideal. Otherwise, strive for at least 60/40 ratio, 60% about yourself - because you asked her out, so it's ok to take the lead here, and 40% about her.

Oh, and watch the alcohol. Sip the wine, don't guzzle. You should spend more time looking at it than drinking it, especially if you're driving her home.

Pay Attention to Her Body Language

Does she interact with you? Lean closer? Look into your eyes often? Laugh? Maybe she comes up with excuses to touch you - those are all great signs! She's letting you know that she's having a great time and that she's interested. If you find her staring off into the distance or fiddling with the utensils, that's bad news. And the deal breaker here is - if she's dead quiet and can't sit still in her seat.

Most women will go to the ladies room to freshen up at some point during the evening. However, if she leaves the table a couple of times and gave an excuse like she saw a friend and wanted to say hello, but takes her time at it, that's a pretty major sign that she's not into you.

A date is a meeting of the minds - and hearts. You shouldn't be the one who does all the work to keep it going and - keep her entertained. If she's not holding up her end of the date, your attention and wallet are better spent elsewhere.

If something unexpected happens during the date - like a spilled glass of wine or an over-cooked steak, laugh it off and don't make a fuss. If you're rude to the wait staff, or appear easily irritated or petty, she'll probably want to end the evening quickly, in fact, she may not even sit through dessert! In addition, if someone cuts you off the road while you're driving, let it go. Road rage is a huge deal breaker and you will look like you're aggressive and psycho.

Finally, always pay for the date even if it didn't work out, be a gentleman - you asked her out. Watch out with cigarettes, alcoholic beverages and coffee flavored drinks during the evening, because they leave a strong aftertaste, so drink something neutral to wash down the taste and have a mint, if you might be in for a good night kiss.

Saying Goodnight and Follow-Up

If you had a great time, let her know by telling her honestly and sincerely. Thank her for her company. If you tell your date you will call, you got to follow-through and make that call in a day or two. Really, it's ok to call her. Just don't over do it and leave her multiple voicemails and texts by the next morning.

Most women like the thoughtful gesture of a call a day or two later. She won't think that she's already your girlfriend after just one date. But you must leave no doubts about why you're calling. It's important not to send mixed signals, or leave things open to interpretation. Tell her that you had a great time and that you want to see her again. If she accepts, make sure that you give her some room until you see her again - she agreed to a second date to get to know you even better, but she didn't give you permission to call her every day until you meet again, so don't ruin a good thing while you have it.

And what about the first kiss? Generally, a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek is a nice way to end an evening that went well. It's not too blunt, as long as she seems comfortable. If there's no chemistry between the two of you, that's fine. Don't make any promises - and you must resist the temptation to tell her that you will call her, when your gut dreads it. You want her to remember you as a masculine man and a real gentleman, not a wimpy lying creep. Just thank her for an enjoyable evening and say goodnight.

Now that you've gotten all the tools you need to master your first date - it's time to get out there, you hunk!

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