Daryl Campbell

Relationship Break Up: Your Ex Is A Pain But You Still Want Them Back

Good bye and good riddance. Your ex is finally out of your life and with them goes that never ending emotional roller coaster ride; which on more than one occasion made you sick to your stomach. But some of the twists and turns were a thrill a minute. You ready to give that up?

"The broken dates - the endless waits
The lovely loving - and the hateful hates
The conversation - with the flying plates
I wish I were in love again"

- Rodgers and Hart

Nobody could press your buttons like your ex. A simple question could spark world war three. But the when the love and passion were there…Yowza!! It was you and your significant other against the world and the world always lost.

Unfortunately that volcanic relationship erupted too many times in a bad way. The arguments got more intense and lasted longer while the kiss and make up periods grew shorter to the point of almost non existent. You both tiptoed around each other for fear of stepping on an emotional landmine. Communication ground to a halt and that laughter that was so much a part of the relationship in the beginning disappeared completely. 

It's all over. The both of you said your goodbyes and made peace with each other. Then why are you still hankering to get them back?

It's not uncommon for many people to believe they will never experience anything that compares with their previous relationship. Sure it was a roller coast ride filled with some unwanted twists and turns but it made you feel alive in ways you never imagined.  There were more than a few people in your social circle who never believed the two of you would make it as far as you did.  The thing about it was they were on the outside looking in. They had no idea how the dynamics of your relationship actually worked. They still don't.   

But you do and that's why you want your former significant other back in your life. It is of course your choice but keep in mind very few things remain unchanged. If you are trying to get your ex back in the hope of creating those golden moments then you may be in for a let down. 

Accept the fact that it is going to be a tricky proposition. In the first place they may not want to rekindle their relationship with you. For many people a clean break means just that. Number two is timing. You have to give them breathing room so they can do a little self assessment. That means you can't bombard them with phone calls, text messages, email and the all to frequent " I just happened to be in the neighborhood so I thought I'd drop in" routine. Respect their space.

But even that can be risky. You don't want to give them so much time and room that, they forget all about you. So the question becomes how do you strike a balance? There is no hard and fast rule on this so you are going to have to gage it on the fly. 
 
Also what are you going to do that will make them want to come back? Same old same old won't cut it. Your ex enjoyed many parts of the relationships but they called it quits for a reason. What areas are you going to change to let them to show your ex you are serious? It can't be a temporary change either. Since your ex knows you pretty well the chances are they will see right thru that. Besides that are they also willing to change? Let's face it they had an equal hand in derailing this relationship. If the burden falls on you to make all the self improvements, you are inviting trouble. 
 
A famous writer once said, "You can't go home again." That describes former relationships to a tee. Yet it is not completely hopeless. Many a couple have reunited after a breakup and gone on to build a stronger and better relationship than the one they had before. It takes timing, hard work, patience and willingness on both sides to give it another go. Even if you have all that in your favor, it still might not work. But if you feel it's worth the gamble than go for it. Who knows? The two of you might get it right this time around.

Source: Free Articles from ArticlesFactory.com

ABOUT THE AUTHOR