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When Your Ex Hookup Gets Married

.She finds out that her exes keep getting hitched to the girl they hookup right after her. Which poses the question: What is it about some women that screams

She finds out that her exes keep getting hitched to the girl they hookup right after her. Which poses the question: What is it about some women that screams “not wife material?”

I got a call from my ex just a week ago a guy I completely believed  that one day I’d see him smiling at me in a tux from the other end of a  church aisle. He’s been dating the girl he hooked up with since we  called it quits a couple of years ago, so when the words that came out  of his mouth were the ones that I secretly prayed I’d never hear, I was  crushed: “Jane, I’m going to marry her.”

I instantly burst into tears. You see, this isn’t the only time I  became the girlfriend before the girlfriend who eventually becomes the  wife. Yes, you’re not going to believe this, but it has happened seven  times. It feels like I’m just prepping guys to get married to somebody  else.

I guess you could think of me as a husband fluffer you know that crew  member in porn movies whose job is to get the actor, uh, ready for his  scene? In my case, I put in tons of hard work, and then another girl  steps in right before the money shot I mean, the wedding scene. Heh.

The details vary, but the fundamental scenario is the same: Boy and I hookup  and fall in love; boy and I split; boy marries next girl that comes  along. Take my first boyfriend after college. I was truly convinced he  was The One, but when we were two years in, I realized I’ve never lived  on my own as a single girl. So we took a little break, after which he  started dating another chick… and now they’re engaged.

After him, there was this other guy. And like the first one, he was  older, charming successful, and gorgeous. I was crazy in love with him.  Then I thought, “With a guy like this, you have to play a little hard to  get.” But I didn’t see the signs that should’ve told me he was playing  more of a grown-up game: the new three-bedroom apartment, the doting on  his sister’s baby. So he ditched me for a model, who is now his wife.

Given these horrific stories, I asked myself what I did I do to drive  these men into the arms of other women? Did I spark a desire for them  to find a wife? Or maybe they wanted out of the dating game for good?

I presented this question to my therapist. “You thought you wanted to  tie the knot with these guys, right?” she asked. Correct. “So you made  them work through all their issues to prop them for marriage.” Correct.  “But were you ready?”

Excellent question. The concept of marriage probably scared the hell  out of me, and the guys sensed it. “Keep in mind,” she continued, “a  husband fluffer means you’re free to keep on looking to find the right  person. You’ve been spared, and you have spared them too. You just  weren’t right for them. Think of it as a gift you gave them.” Right nowArticle Submission,  I’m still waiting for all the thank you cards in the mail.

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