Keep Communication Flowing Between Parent and Child

Jun 4
07:32

2008

Chris Lowrey

Chris Lowrey

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The older children get, the less they will talk to parents. But, the older they get, the more they SHOULD talk to parents. As a parent, what should you do?

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It seems like when kids are young,Keep Communication Flowing Between Parent and Child Articles parents can't get a moments peace. Children babble on about anything and everything. At times you just want them to be quiet or you train yourself to tune the kids out. Even if just for a minute. The constant chatter, although mostly delightful, can grind on your nerves. However, the day will come when you miss their talks and questions. The older the child gets, the more you don't know and the less they will tell you and this exactly the time that you realize the more you need to know.

Infants and toddlers typically view this new world from your eyes. That makes sense considering most of their experiences are with you. They listen to what you say and rarely question your wisdom. You are their hero and what you say goes. However, the day will come, too quickly, when the children start listening to others and form new opinions and experiences that are not associated with you or your teachings.

The need to stay in touch is paramount but the older the children get the less of opportunities you will have. So, what do parents do?

Car rides! It seems the environment of the vehicle allows for great conversations. While riding in the car, the distractions are limited and the direct eye contact is minimal. This provides a perfect setting for staying in touch. Kids feel more at ease to share events and feelings that make up their days, in a less intense situation. It is the opportune time to talk to them about nothing and everything. You have their undivided attention and they have yours.

Before getting in the car, think about some questions that are non-threatening and impersonal. Start with those and see where the conversation leads. Another good lead for heart-to-heart conversations is current events. You will probably be amazed at what the children know and their opinions on situations. Try to listen more than you talk once the conversations begin.

As situations allow, dig deeper into more personal issues. Make sure you are in a conversational form and not ready to pounce. The kids will know the difference. Children are still under your guidance and they really do still value your opinions but be careful not to shove your views down their throats! Keep in mind, these types of conversations should remain two-way. Ask your children their points of views and feedback. Even if you do not agree, listen. In time, you can guide them or provide them more documentation for review of specific subjects.

Every conversation need not be long, drawn out or intense. Before getting in the car, think of some funny stories to tell them. They can be of your previous day, a conversation you had with a friend or extended family member or a good joke you heard. Keep them laughing or engaged and let them realize you are fun to talk with. Then, when the important topics surface, they will be more likely to share them with you.

Most importantly, find times to talk. Growing up is hard and confusing. Let them know that they can come to you, regardless. Surface talk is when you ask them about their day and they say "it was okay." True conversations form when they actually tell you about it!

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