How to Communicate While Visiting the Dentist

A humorous look at dental chair conversation – after all, when was the last time you sounded intelligent during an exam?

Visiting the dentist is always an adventure. Where else can you go where you have no idea what the outcome will be? After all, you may think that everything is okay inside that mouth of yours, but is it? Only a dental exam can tell. Where else can you go where you will be peppered with questions and yet be unable to answer them with any semblance of intelligence because the dentist’s hands are in your mouth?

We need to have some way to answer his questions intelligently without sacrificing our dignity or spitting dental-grade toothpaste onto the ceiling. There’s always sign language, but that might prove to be difficult. Most people are usually gripping the arm rests out of fear that the hygienist might hit a nerve or find a cavity that was previously undiscovered. Sign language would hinder the ability to hold on for dear life. Besides, chances are you’ll accidentally hit the medical grade bib and end up getting mouth gunk all over your face.

You could try talking as simply and intelligibly as you can, but face it – many have tried and all have failed. Your dentist probably asked you how school was going and you answered with something that sounded more like “I flung a muffalooey out the mumblejumble powder fluff.” If that doesn’t scream, “I’m bound for Harvard, watch out Boston!” then what does?

The best, most intelligent system of dental office patient-to-doctor communication is probably the Dental Flag Communication System (DFCS) that really only exists in the minds of those who long for meaningful conversation with those behind that mask. The DFCS is intelligent and works well even though it requires no words.

The DFCS is a kit of small, hand-held communication flags. There are five flags in the kit: red, blue, green, black, and white. Each flag has a different meaning and can be used to communicate with the hygienist or dentist when your tongue has been shoved to the side and your jaw has been stuffed with gauze so dry it makes the Sahara seem like a rainforest.

The red flag can be used to signal positive words like yes, love, happy, and thank-you. The blue one is helpful for calm, numb, serene and vacation. Green works best as money, insurance, time and leave. Black is terrific for communicating negative words like no, hate, painful and death. That white flag is saved for one use and one use only: I give up and I’m going home.

So the next time you are in the dentist’s chair and he says, “Are you enjoying your vacation?” you can respond with red, blue, green, green. That means, “Yes, I enjoyed my vacation. It was a good time and cost a lot of money.” Sounds better than “Yeth, ah endood mah aacaaation. It uz a good tine and coss a lot uh unny.”

Sure the flags have their faults, and dentists would have to learn their meanings. But that’s doable – after all, that’s what wall charts are for, right?

Oh, and those black and white flags? Those are really helpful for communicating, “I hate you, that is painful, and I wish you death. I give up and I’m going home.” In “flagese” that would be black, black, black, and white.

In all seriousness, visiting the dentist is important and can be fun if you choose to see the humor in talking like an infant for 45 minutes, 2 times a year. If not, just pull out your flag kit and act like you are one man dental conversation parade!

Source: Free Articles from ArticlesFactory.com

ABOUT THE AUTHOR