Arguments to Settle Before the Wedding
Love can make you crazy, but marriage can make things even worse. Before you walk down the aisle, here are five things that you will need to address and possibly seek a marriage counselor, to ensure your marriage is starting on a solid foundation.
It isn't infidelity, abuse, or falling out of love that is the driving force behind most divorces, but rather financial disputes. Money can cause heated arguments, clouding rational judgment and destroying trust and respect. Although there isn't much that can be done to avoid some financial troubles, having a plan in place can greatly reduce stress and prevent disagreements from driving a wedge between partners.
It's important to openly and honestly discuss your opinions and beliefs on money management. For a financial plan to be effective, debts, salaries, savings, and other matters should be revealed. Hiding even small financial details can lead to devastating problems later on. Financial plans will undoubtedly change over time, but understanding each other's beliefs and learning to compromise early will save heartache and headaches.
In the throes of passion, sometimes people forget their fundamental goals and desires as an individual. It's surprising how few couples have a serious and honest discussion about starting their own families as well as keeping in contact with relatives. Are children in your future? When and how many? Raising children is one of the biggest and most difficult tasks a couple will face, so preparation and understanding is the key to success.
Maintaining links with your own families will be vital to the success of your relationship as well. Where will the holidays be spent? How often will you visit relatives? For some these questions may have easy answers, but if families are spread far and wide or there are some bad feelings between partners and certain family members, you may find yourselves in quite a few heated arguments.
Some couples avoid talking about their future because of the uncertainty of it all. While no one can predict what will happen or how people will change over the years, the more you try to communicate and understand each other's hopes the smoother your relationship will be. Where do you picture yourself in five, ten, and even fifty years? People with similar goals and aspirations have much stronger and lasting relationships than those who live strictly in the moment.
Some people live to work, while others are more content to laze on the beach. Most people are fortunately not extreme opposites, but there will probably be room for both partners to compromise somewhat. Will the workaholic have to turn off the phone during mealtimes? Will the slug have to work a minimum amount of hours per week to help keep finances healthy? Setting reasonable work expectations and responsibilities for each partner can help create peace and balance.
For some people this subject won't make a bit of difference, but for partners with different beliefs it may be the most important thing to consider before marriage. Can you accept and respect each other's religious or spiritual beliefs? Can you refrain from using them as tools or catalysts for arguments? People of differing faiths can live harmoniously if they are willing to make compromise.
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If you are planning to walk down the aisle, a marriage therapist helps you to know what is in store for you. They help you to get rid of the pre wedding jitters, keeping you calm and composed on the special day. To know more, visit http://local.yodle.com