Assessing The Condition Of The Relationship After Unfaithfulness

Aug 27
10:36

2012

Daryl Campbell

Daryl Campbell

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You cannot get the negative images out of your mind or just that your self-esteem took a serious blow. You really feel like you are going crazy but nevertheless you are determined to work through this so that you can rescue your marital relationship.

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No one ever declared it was going to be a piece of cake fixing your relationship after an extramarital relationship. You still love your spouse and have no desire to get a divorce. Your mate feels the same way. They did wrong but really want to do everything possible to repair the devastation.

That is certainly commendable but you can't help but think to yourself why your spouse did not consider this before making the decision to cheat. No matter how hard they are trying to make things right their actions have placed the marriage in a huge hole. Besides dealing with the shattered trust after an affair there is also the acute emotional pain.

You cannot get the negative images out of your mind or just that your own self-esteem has taken a major hit. You really feel like you're going crazy nonetheless you are determined to get past this so that you can rescue your marital relationship. But at this point in time you have to step back to determine are your efforts really working?

There are some things to look for that can help greatly when it comes to tracking the progress.

1. Tantrums

With regards to the spousal relationship following an affair,Assessing The Condition Of The Relationship After Unfaithfulness Articles the dialogue between the two of you can be difficult. That is not surprising. However, if the majority of conversations turn into shouting matches then there is certainly quite a ways to go. The two of you made the choice to remain together and for that reason restoring communication is essential.

No doubt the feelings are going to overpower you from time to time. You want your spouse to understand what their careless behavior did to you. However if that is the way it is going to be from now on then healing the relationship after an affair will be most difficult if not impossible.

2. Judge and Jury

What your spouse did was wrong. Unfortunately you stretch that out to every phase of the relationship. You feel it is your birthright to pass sentence on everything they say and do. In a twisted way marriage after an affair has given you a sense of power you never experienced before. Their infidelity is the green light you needed to take over the marriage.

The disloyal wife or husband may go along with this out of guilt but the chances are high it won't last. At some point they will snap out of it and get back to their old ways. Yes you have every right to feel the way you do but you still have to exercise some sort of balance with regards to the overall relationship.

3. Self-Sacrifice

You question why should you be the one to sacrifice anything after an affair. Yet if you are looking to restore the relationship then there are going to be occasions when you must take a deep breath and practice a little humility for the good of the marriage.

When you see your husband or wife getting inundated by some of their household responsibilities then simply help them out. Whether they merit the assistance isn't the issue. The point is you're saying to your mate as well as to yourself that the two of you are in this thing together. That is a very good signal that the marriage after infidelity is on its way to recovery.

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