Online Romance and how to Handle Opposite-sex Friendships

Jun 11
19:15

2007

eHarmony Marriage

eHarmony Marriage

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How does online romance affect your relationship?

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Everyone has friendships,Online Romance and how to Handle Opposite-sex Friendships Articles and nowadays, it’s common to have friends in online chat rooms and in other virtual landscapes. But what about opposite-sex friendships? Are they threats to your marriage? Are you or your spouse just chatting via the web or having an online romance?

An online romance occurs when two people meet via the internet and have a “cyberspace” relationship, whereas an internet friendship is where people interact as friends via the Web. Some people choose to avoid friendships with members of the opposite sex because of the belief that there will be "unavoidable" sexual and emotional chemistry. In other words, spouses are often concerned that their online friendship will become an online romance.

In general, Dr. Warren believes that a healthy marriage needs opposite-sex friends – a small circle of people who provide insight and a unique perspective. But whether your friends are same-sex or opposite-sex, online or in person, it is vital that they show complete support and honor for your marriage. Here are some questions you can ask to help determine whether you may be causing your spouse suspicion, wondering if you have an internet friendship or an online romance.

Online romance or internet buddy – food for thought:

• Is your spouse aware of and comfortable with this friendship?

• Would you be entirely comfortable if your spouse observed how you act and what you say when you're with your friend?

• If your spouse had the same level of friendship with someone of the opposite sex, would you feel OK with it?

• If you experience physical or emotional attraction to your friend, are you able to deal with it responsibly and faithfully?

• Is the level of intimacy and/or sexuality in your marriage completely satisfying to you?

• If your friend suggested a rendezvous, would you say "no" to an off- or online romance with your friend?

If you answered "no" to one or more of these questions, you might want to rethink this relationship as it could be leaning towards an online romance. Continuing to devote the same time and energy to this friendship may not be in the best interest of your marriage.

Most importantly, a couple must work to keep the emotional content within their marriage and make sure they avoid undue extra-marital intimacy, sexual tension, and secrecy.

Here is information that can help you manage friendships in ways that enhance your marriage, and avoid an off- or online romance:

• Develop and cultivate a relationship with your spouse that results in the two of you being the very best of friends.

• Develop outside friendships that not only challenge you to be your very best personally, but also challenge you to be the best possible mate to your spouse.

• Make sure your spouse knows your friend and is completely comfortable with the type and level of interaction you have with them.

• Avoid developing an overly close friendship with someone you are physically and/or emotionally attracted to.

If you sense yourself slipping into an online romance, or if there’s a friendship causing strife in your marriage, it's important you and your spouse work together to get to the root of the trouble. Ask yourselves if the problem is related to your own actions or those of the other person. Is there really no problem other than spousal jealousy or possessiveness? Whatever the issues may be, keep remembering that your choice of friendships must support your main goal, and make decisions to avoid getting involved in an online romance.