Step parenting ultimately means being a step away from being a parent. Even if you have no intention of parenting, at the very least you are expected to step in when the real parent is absent. Like it or not, in a blended family you will do some parenting.
Step parenting takes both, you and the biological parent. This relationship has to be solid unit. While it may take time to earn the respect of stepchildren, you nevertheless need the complete support of the biological parent. Your relationship will be on the display table and stepchildren take their cues from the strength of this relationship. If this relationship is weak and characterized by arguments, you the stepparent will be viewed as the weak link in this household. Not only do you and the real parent need to be a unified front, you also need to make your relationship a priority. When it comes down to the wire, real parents tend to side with their children, if the romantic relationship is unstable. This leads to power struggles, manipulation and disrespect. When stepchildren learn early on, that they cannot interfere with your relationship with their parent, they refrain from playing one against the other. They have no other choice, but to gradually accept you.
Make sure that you and the real parent agree on rules and expectations and let the stepchildren know what they are. Don’t try to be an overnight parent. Remember, your stepchildren most likely didn’t ask for you. While you can expect a civil treatment, which should be reinforced by the real parent, your stepchildren may remain distant and reserved for a while. They fear loosing their parent to you and it may take some time until you cease to be a threat. Here are a few tips on being a good stepparent:
Being a stepparent comes with rewards and punishment. Be prepared for the ups and downs. However, if you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, the rewards may be well worth the effort.
© 2006 Allie Ochs
Are You Fit To Date?
Anybody can find a date. If you have a computer, you’ve got a date. You know how it works: sign up, write a profile and the highway to passion is yours. Once set up, the system should work like a charm. Someone should respond and viola, you’ve got a date. In the real world we blow it!The Joy Of Being Dumped!
Turning 40 means turning into anything you want to beThe Magic Of Turning 40!
Turning 40 means that you can turn into anything you want to be