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Have Great Sex Over and Over Again

While you might think the men having great sex after 10 or 20 years were the ones who were the most stable, reliable, and emotionally consistent, this wasn’t what was actually going on. In reali...

While you might think the men having great sex after 10 or 20 years were the ones who were the most stable, reliable, and emotionally consistent, this wasn’t what was actually going on. In reality, all the men who were having great sex in the long-term were very emotional guys who sometimes treated their wife well and showed her lots of affection, and sometimes acted distant and aloof towards her. There seemed to be no logic as to when these guys were doing these things - it seemed to be more of a unconscious rhythm of attraction that they fell into. This didn’t make very much sense to me until I read a book called “The Power Of Full Engagement” by Tony Schwartz. The main point that he makes in the book is that as humans we try to force a lot of areas of our life to be linear, when they should actually be cyclical and rhythmic. For example, many people mistakenly think the best way to work throughout the day is to work steadily, straight through for eight hours. While this would seem to be the case, actually the best and most productive way to work is to work in short, focused intervals interspersed with short breaks for recovery. There were many, many other applications of this principle as well, and the book really changed my life for the better.

After seeing the power of making important areas of my life cyclical, I also began to think...what if it’s actually healthy to have cyclical relationships as well? The image that we have of a great relationship is one where both partners are constantly and consistently attracted to each other for decades...but how many times have you actually seen a couple like this in real life? I had never seen a couple like this - and I still never had - so I began to think that the ideal of being steadily and consistently attracted to each other at exactly the same level for decades was an unachievable goal according to http://enlargement-world.blogspot.com/2016/12/what-i-think-about-vigrx-plus.html

Maybe, I thought, a healthier and more realistic goal would be to have a relationship which cycles between periods of intense “honeymoon” attraction where the two of you just can’t get enough of each other, and “recovery” periods where you’re both still having sex and are into each other, but the marriage is more focused on relaxation and comfort with each other. With all the couples I had ever seen who were regularly having great sex after years, this seemed to be what they were doing. So, I decided to try this in my own relationship life, and I found that it was a great way to keep sex interesting and fresh in a long-term relationship. I found that every few weeks, something would trigger a period of irresistible animal attraction between my wife and I. For a few weeks, we would be having sex constantly...then for no reason at all, it would taper off. We would still be having sex and we were still attracted to each other, but the quality of our relationship was more relaxed and comfortable. Rather than trying to fight this as I would of before, I would go with the flow and let our relationship fall into this natural rhythm. And then, a few weeks or a month later, we would be in the intense animal attraction cycle again. The result of this was that we were naturally having different types of sex depending on what cycle we were in. In the “animal attraction” cycle, sex was intensely dominant. In the “recovery” cycle, sex was more Emotional and Immersive. This naturally introduced more Variety into the marriage - sex was always flowing from one type of sex to another, depending on what cycle we were in. In your relationship, this is the model that you want to follow. Don’t try to have a consistent, steady relationship which is always the same - this is unhealthy and impossible to achieve. Instead, let your relationship cycle between “animal attraction” cycles and “recovery” cycles. During the “animal attraction” cycles, you want to emphasize Dominant hard penetrating. During the “recovery” cycles, you want to emphasize Emotional and Immersive lovemaking. This is perhaps the biggest key to keeping sex interested for 20, 30Psychology Articles, or 40 years.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR


Alexander P is a blogger that studies intimacy and sexuality.



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