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Anger is usually offputting because of the way it is expressed.  Those on the receiving end of another's anger tune off, or just get defensive because they feel attacked.   You soon give up showing your anger due to getting shunned every time you express it. The anger gets burried and explodes at inappropriate times. That creates a negative cycle in relationships. Expressing healthy anger involves getting in touch with the triggers from your past and distinguishing that from the present situation.