From a very young age, many of us are taught the "virtues" of self-effacement and false modesty. Nobody likes a show-off. Don't be a know-it-all. Blow...
From a very young age,
many of us are taught the "virtues" of self-effacement and false modesty. Nobody likes a show-off. Don't be a know-it-all. Blow-hard, bore, and class clown are not appellations that any serious, self-respecting person wants to have attached to himself. Maybe its just me and my conservative upbringing, which goes back to the old English "stiff upper lip" and all that rot. More than likely, though, it's not just me. Many people are reluctant to talk about themselves, or toot their own horn. They see it as unseemly. There is ample evidence that temperance with regard to self-promotion is the default mode for a large portion of the population.
On the other hand, we are taught by our society to admire people with confidence, courage and a positive attitude. The socially intrepid tend to gain respect and, yes...wealth. Aggressive personalities from P.T. Barnum to Richard Branson are held up as standards of success. Even "The Donald" gets grudging admiration from people who don't like him. How many times have you heard "Personally, I can't stand the guy, but you've got to admire his chutzpah." or words to that effect.
If you are one of those people who takes comfort in fitting in, or who facilitates social interaction by employing a measure of modesty, stop it right now (at least in your job hunting role). There are situations in which the only path to survival is blatant self-promotion. The search for employment is one of these situations.
By "self-promotion" I don't mean becoming the caricature that your well-meaning parents and teachers warned you about. You don't need Don King's hair or a bright orange zoot suit to make an impression. What I'm talking about is being unafraid to boldly speak the truth about your accomplishments and your strengths. I'm talking about the use of a confident demeanor and bold, professional delivery to get your message across.
Here are some ideas to get you started on the path to a more bold representation of yourself. Most of it starts with a positive attitude.
Start by looking at yourself in a mirror. Look into your eyes and don't look away. It seems funny to some, but there are many people who will have a sense of unease while doing this simple exercise. Get in the habit of doing that if you can't confidently do it now.
Make a list of your accomplishments and any experiences of which you are proud. Get downright arrogant about it. Write down everything from standing up to a bully to passing a test or becoming top producer of the month. Now is not the time for modesty. Hold nothing back and get it on paper. Magical things happen when you get it on paper. Read it daily until you have internalized it. Don't just write it and forget it.
Take a look at your wardrobe. Is there anything that you can do to distinguish yourself from others? You don't have to go out and buy a whole new closet full of clothes (especially if your resources could be used for more practical things right now). My personal items include a collar pin when I'm wearing a tie, and a pocket silk when wearing a suit or even a sports jacket. It's remarkable how many comments I've received, just about those two little things. More importantly though, it's how you begin to see yourself. You will start to set yourself apart from the crowd in your own estimation.
Start to throw around some of your accomplishments or strengths in casual conversation. Tell people what an asset you are. Let everyone know that you are looking to enhance an organization with your particular skills. This could be a hard one, since you have probably been taught to avoid that kind of thing. Do it anyway just for now. Get comfortable with it.
Give these things a try for a month or so. When you secure employment (and you will), they come in handy for advancement, relationships and enhanced opportunities. They also help you enhance and maintain the positive attitude that is so important for any undertaking. Most everyone can do with a bit more confidence and refined self presentation; even your obnoxious friend that thinks he's better than everyone (think "overcompensation"). But that's a topic for another time.
