Self-Talk

Aug 15
07:03

2008

Michael A. Verdicchio

Michael A. Verdicchio

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You can start today building positive self-talk. It will reduce the stress in your life, give you confidence, and, empower you to living a dynamic life. It is your choice to change negative self-talk into positive self-talk

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My wife,Self-Talk Articles Kathy, told me that when she was very young she lived on a farm. At night, Dean, her dad, would go to the window and open it. He would then shout, "Hey Dean, it's time to get up!"

He told his young children that his voice would go all over the country from hill to hill and eventually echo back to their farmhouse. By the time it would come back, it would be morning and time for Dean to get up. He told them that was his alarm clock.

Now of course as adults we know that doesn't happen. But, there is a tremendous lesson in this silly game that Dean played with his children. Everyday there are a lot of "echoes" that do come back to us.

Researchers have known for a long time that negative statements from others can adversely affect our self-esteem and our self worth. This is especially true of children who easily accept negatives from those in authority, like parents and teachers.

Some researchers believe that for healthy relationships the ratio of positive to negative comments should be at least five to one. And since that ratio doesn't happen very often, we as parents teach our children not to accept negative comments that they hear from others. We try to continue to reinforce a positive self-image.

We are taught that we should be kind to others. Remember the old saying, "If you can't something nice, then don't say anything at all?" One Bible verse talks about not speaking things that tear down, but rather things that build up.

But what about the words we hear in our head, not from others, but from ourselves? What about our own self-talk? So many, many times, the person who is damaging and sabotaging your own self-esteem and self worth is you!

Researchers know that a person's self-talk dynamically affects their self-image. They know that negative words we speak to ourselves, and that echo back in our brain, not only increases stress, but they also limit our confidence and thus limit our perceived potential.

So just like Dean shouted out the window, "It's time to get up," you can tell yourself, "I'm not very smart." "I'm a loser; I've always been a loser." "I just can't get ahead." The echo you will hear back will be, "You are not very smart; you are a loser and always will be a loser; you cannot get ahead."

The sad part is that consistent negative self-talk just becomes an endless loop of echoes. The results you will evidence in your life will be defeat, stress, self-imposed limitations and an incorrect perception of your true potential.

I once read about a man who was in the mountains with his son and showed him how echoes worked. The dad shouted out, "You're a winner!" His voice echoed right back, "You're a winner!" He was teaching his son about self-talk.

Wherever you are today in life is simply where you are. It does not mean that you have reached your full potential, nor does it mean that you cannot go any farther in life. It is just where you are right now.

Since self-talk works so effectively, why not utilize the principles in a positive sense? Why not tell yourself who you really are and the potential that you really have? Most people just stay focused on their situation, not where they can go next.

The Bible states that in all situations you are more than a conqueror! That is some potential! How beneficial would it be for thoughts like that to echo in your mind? You are more than a conqueror! You can succeed! You can live a life of victory!

You are a child of God. The Creator of the universe is your Father. Nothing can separate you from His love. Again, think of the positive benefits to have those thoughts echoing back at you! God loves you! He is your Father! He will help you!

Every person chooses, on a daily basis, what they say to themselves about themselves. Those words will echo back over and over. If the Bible tells us to not speak things that tear people down, but rather, build them up, wouldn't that include ourselves?

You can start today by building positive self-talk. As that talk becomes a core belief in your heart, it will reduce the stress in your life, give you confidence, and empower you to living a dynamic life. It is your choice to change negative self-talk into positive self-talk.