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Most of us vividly remember that famous scene from "When Harry Met Sally" when Meg Ryan faked an orgasm to prove a point to Billy Crystal. Sadly, acting like this is as close as many women will get to the intense sexual pleasure of a real orgasm. Orgasm is truly a holistic “mind-body” experience. Just think how an erotic dream may result in orgasm, without so much as a touch, and while we sleep!
Orgasm, as clinically defined, is typically associated with strong muscular spasms and contractions of the lower pelvic muscles. However, the cause of the body sensation is usually the result of many mental factors. As a professional hypnotist, I have helped clients overcome sexual difficulties like this discretely and economically., assuming the source of anorgasmia doesn't stem from pre-existing organic causes (e.g., diabetes, heart disease, prostatectomy, hormonal problems, or drug side-effects).
What Is “Anorgasmia”
Anorgasmia is the medical diagnosis used to describe a regular difficulty in achieving orgasm, despite the appropriate stimulation. Anorgasmia affects far many more women than men with approximately 15% of women reporting chronic orgasm difficulties. And while estimates vary, as many as 10% of women in the United States have never even achieved climax once. According to the Mayo Clinic's website, even those women who can orgasm normally, they only climax about 50-70% of the time!
There are currently three main categories of causes of anorgasmia; physical causes, psychological causes, and relationship causes. Physical causes of anorgasmia may include surgeries like hysterectomy and diseases like multiple sclerosis and diabetes. The aging process is to blame in many instances too, as is the excessive use of alcohol and/or recreational drugs.
The use of anti-depressants, especially Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) may also inhibit the ability to achieve orgasm. Between the heavy cultural and religious pressures here and Utahns rampant use of anti-depressants (according to a 2001 study by a pharmacy benefits company, Utah led the country in anti-depressant use), its fairly safe to say there are probably a lot of seriously frustrated women along the Wasatch front.
The psychological factors involved include stress, embarrassment, fear (usually of pregnancy or a STD), cultural or religious beliefs, guilt, and performance anxiety. Sometimes these extend into problems with our intimate relationships too. Relationship problems such as fights, poor communication of what turns each other on, lack of “connection”, and trust issues or infidelity issues can play a part too.
There are a few different kinds of anorgasmia. There is the kind of anorgasmia where someone never ever experienced an orgasm. This is called “primary” anorgasmia. “Secondary” anorgasmia occurs when someone stops being able to experience orgasms. “Situational” anorgasmia describes those who experience orgasm in some situations and not in others.
In general, I suggest that couples focus on pleasing their partner solely. It helps take the pressure off of them to perform. However, in addition, I like reframe their expectations and to bolster their self-esteem while connecting them to times in their past when they felt particularly sexually confident (when possible).
How Hypn“O”tism Can Help (note the big “O”)
If you ask ten different people “What is hypnotism?” you are likely to get ten different answers. Nearly everyone has been hypnotized at some point or another although they may not know it. When you are home, relaxed, and very focused watching an engrossing movie or your favorite TV show you are experiencing hypnosis. This is why television advertisers often issue commands, like “Drink Coke”, while you are in this highly suggestible state.
Hypnosis and orgasm have a very interesting history together. The famous Greek Hippocrates first coined the word “hysteria”, which literally means “proceeds from the uterus”, and he associated it with madness in women caused by a lack of sexual intercourse. By the nineteenth century, the symptoms of hysteria had expanded to include the urge to masturbate and sexual fantasies accompanied by vaginal lubrication.
In other words, the male dominated field of medicine basically medicalized normal, healthy female sexuality. Once female sexuality had been turn into a subject of pathology, doctors could “cure” them of their “disease”. No joke, the treatments often recommended by physicians from the time of Galen (A.D. 129 – 199) up through the times of Richard von Kraft-Ebbing (the nineteenth century) was masturbation, administered by the doctor to the patient (manually or in more modern times, with a vibrator or water)!
Sigmund Freud wasn't much better. By and large, he viewed sex either as a disease or a treatment. What few know is that Sigmund Freud started out as a hypnotist, under the tutelage of French neurologist Jean-Martin Charcot. He believed that hysteria (i.e., healthy female sexuality) was a neurological disorder. To Charcot, the hypnotic state too resulted from a disease of the nervous system. Fortunately, since the 1970s, hysteria as a pathology has been removed from the official manuals of medical diagnosis.
“I'll have what she's having...”
-Nora Ephron
When Harry Met Sally
We now know that hypnosis is largely harmless and incredibly powerful, not unlike the placebo effect, only without the lie. Only 10% of the population is highly suggestible and another 10% are highly resistant to suggestion. Everyone else fails in between. Here's a quick example that you can use to see how easily you go into trance:
Focus closely on the words on this page for a few moments, to the exclusion of everything else for now ? as you hold this article (with both hands) just notice which one of your hand feels heavier ? and as you do, go inside for just a moment and notice this difference, also notice the other parts of your body that warrant your attention. Being aware of how good it feels to just take a moment and go inside like this. Don't bother controlling your breathing, just listen in. Breathing in relaxation, breathing out tension, worry... Over and over and over, listening. Go ahead and look away from this writing momentarily, and when you come back allow yourself to go EVEN deeper into a state of body relaxation. And when you come back, also notice how the subject of this article has excited your expectations! It's surprising how a few simple words like this can make you feel so curious, no?”
Jake Shannon
Master Hypnotist
Salt Lake City Family Hypnosis
http://www.SLCHypnosis.com /
">http://www.SLCHypnosis.com
(801) 635-4488
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