Fatherhood- A Life Long Responsibility

According to the dictionary, a father is a man who is a parent of a human being, but to me a father is supposed to be a guardian who protects, cares, and provides for a child. There are three things children are supposed to receive from a father: to be taught about a man’s divine purpose, to be taught how to become a protector, and to be taught how to survive in the world.

According to God’s principle of life, the beginning of a father’s duties starts as soon as the egg is fertilized by the sperm. As the child grows there should be lessons taught on how to behave correctly, eat properly, dress appropriately, and to begin to know right from wrong. To be moral a child must learn by example; this would allow a child to make the right decisions. Children may instinctively know right from wrong, but the parents must teach the child further. If learning how to make right decisions is not taught, then the child won’t know how to make proper decisions. For example, in the Adam, and Eve story; they didn’t know right from wrong until they were kicked out of the garden. This must be taught by example, but my father only showed me the wrong things to do. I learned to do right or wrong by reading the Bible stories, and by wanting to do the opposite of what my father did. To combine values, and morals makes children ethically sound. It’s easy to do the wrong things; however, it's hard to do the right thing, but people have to choose. For instance, my father made me paint the entire house. When I complained he took out a loan in my name for $100.00, and then said I had to pay it back. Also like the poem “My Papa’s Waltz,” one day my father came home drunk. He started smacking us around, and poured beer all over my stepmom.

A father is also responsible to provide for his family; this is his Godly purpose. It’s a father’s duty to respond to his family’s needs. My father did this very well; I did not have to worry about food, shelter, or clothing. He was a carpenter. He also worked as a dish washer, managed properties, and did side jobs. A father also must provide the child with guidance; to be guided properly by a father is to be taught the family trade. This is what I practiced for 16 years. I chose not to pursue it further, but I did have the skills to do basic residential building maintenance. My father did not teach me about the skills of surviving the world; I learned when I was on my own. I ran away when I was 16. I learned how to survive, because I had no choice. It was a time that I was hungry, and I had no food nor a job. I did not have the guidance to handle this situation; so I had to adapt. I had to use my animal instincts to search, find, ask, and not be ungrateful or picky about what I received.

Presently, because of my experiences; I’m a better father than my father. I took his wrong examples, and changed them into right ones. I also became affiliated with the world of Freemasonry where a man’s character is molded into a well-mannered Godly man. People are only what the environment makes them, and what the society shapes them. The child sees the father as a protector. If the father fails to do so; the child begins to reject the father. I began to reject my father at the age of nine. He did nothing I expected of him except give me a home to live in, and the beginnings of a trade. He gave me no love. If a father does not give or show love; then the father will not receive any in return when the child becomes an adult. I’m a self- made man, and father with no regrets. I’m disappointed in my father whom I do not consider my father anymore. I learned I shouldn’t hate people no matter what they have done to me; I know I should just let them go or erase them out of my life in order to get some peace.