Marriage is the bonding of man and woman into eternal relationship due to their choice of wanting to be together forever. Regardless of background, language, race or religion.
Marriage is the bonding of man and woman into eternal relationship due to their choice of wanting to be together forever.
Regardless of background, language, race or religion.
However after the initial post-wedding and honeymoon phrase of quiet bliss and romance, it is down to business of managing their relationships and accepting each other’s lifestyle and habits that defined and break or make their relationships.
Arguments usually began with misunderstandings, ego or other personal problems.
Based on my observation and learning from married couples, here are 4 of the most common problems are:
1. When 1 or both husband and wife are too busy working and hardly have time for each other,
2. When either party still loves socializing while the other is pretty much introvert and prefers just a private or family time instead of investing with other people,
3. When either one or both have financial difficulties and in debts which jeopardized their plans to manage their relationship and household expenses the way they want.
4. When either one or both are in mood swings either because of pregnancy or heavy burden of pleasing spouse and even difficult in-laws besides parents,
5. When their relationship is disrupted by ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend who cannot get over breakup and threatens to get in their way like in Michael Douglas and Glenn Close’s movie Fatal Attraction.
6. When either or both have problems but refused to confide in each other either because they do not want to embarrass or be a burden to each other.
When any or all of these are not properly addressed and looked into, whatever positivity they may have had before, during and right after marriage is gone.
Though there are other problems as well, usually the ones mentioned above are what caused misunderstandings, resentment and quarrels.
And if they have kids, their kids will be badly affected and they will unconsciously set bad examples for them as parents.
Especially when they intend to divorce and ask their children to either choose daddy or mommy.
Or when either won the child custody and other can no longer visit their spouse and kids.
However in spite of all these, it is possible to resolve your marriage problems.
If you want to.
Having said that, here are 5 approaches.
They are not the best or completely perfect but most appropriate.
1. Acknowledge Marriage Problems Exist
The first step to acknowledge marriage problems exist due to differences and misunderstandings.
Couples should talk face-to-face but at the same time, they have to be mindful of their tone when they get too emotional.
Because while wants sympathy, the other choose to resist by reacting if the tone used is harsh.
Likewise, if they choose to avoid each other and seek solace with friends and family, they will never be resolved.
But even so, they will be made to face each other and talk out their problems.
2. Get Professional Advice And Help
If talking face-to-face does not improve or turn things round, the next step is get professional advice and help from marriage advisors or counsellors.
Due to their extensive experience and knowledge, they will be the best alternate third parties to manage if relatives, families and even friends failed.
Because the methods they recommend will make husband and wife more acknowledgeable of their flaws and what to do to handle that will improve their marriage for the better.
3. Accept Marriage Is Never Perfect And Prepare To Face Future Conflicts.
Throughout history, marriage is never perfect and totally happy all the time.
While being tolerant of each other seems to be a virtue, it will be a matter of time before they have to communicate and allow each other know how they feel and progress.
4. Finding Out The Reasons Behind Resentment And Misunderstanding
There is a saying that you cannot fight the enemy that you cannot see.
This is also true in case of marriages.
If you feel that your husband or wife is not the same person you know before and after marriage, it is your duty and responsibility to find out the reasons why.
The best solution is to begin the conversation with your spouse in the right tone and provide him time and space to open up.
And while he talks, listen and do not interrupt.
Unless he asks you.
The same applies to the case of wife.
5. Recommending Or Suggesting Solutions
Relationship is a give and take.
But if both just take or expects from each other too much, that will be another problem.
The best way to resolve this is to help and be helped.
Here are the 5 approaches you may consider if you are married or recommend to your friends, family members or relatives.
