How Will We Get through This?

How Will We Get Through This?
Helaine Iris
© 2003

“Trust in God but tie up your camel” — Indian proverb

I always dreamed of going to Australia. It’s been the most consistent travel desire I’ve had. So last year when my husband informed me that the professional association that he belongs to was holding their next conference in Australia, I got really excited.

He invited me to join him and we’re been intending to make the trip yet staying open to the possibility that it might not be financial feasible for us to go. This past week it became clear that it was time to decide. We needed to make reservations if we were going.

Making the situation more complex and emotionally charged, the conference was scheduled during my husbands fiftieth birthday. We agreed months ago that it was important to be together for this milestone birthday.

Meanwhile, a few months ago, after a financially stressful time, I decided to direct my energy toward building a financial reserve. This was one of the valuable lessons I learned from my first year in full time practice. For most of my adult years I’ve been focusing on living my life and not saving for the future. Suddenly, It hit me, at age 45 I’ve got some catching up to do. Now did not seem like the time to spend major dollars on a trip to Australia.

Simultaneously, my husband was getting in touch with how important it was to him, and critical to the development of his business, that he make it to the conference. He was standing in a position of trust that the universe would provide the resources necessary. He was putting the need to build a financial reserve on the back burner. I’m sure you can see where this was going.

What I feared was that situation was pointing to a serious difference of our values. I was getting upset as it appeared we were polarizing into two camps, him in the “trust” camp and me in the, “I’ve got to be responsible” camp. I wondered how we’d get through this, and whether our values were irrevocably diverging. It was pretty tense for a few days as we tried to invite each other to see it from each other’s perspective.

Then, I remembered the expression; “trust in God but tie up your camel.” What that wise adage meant to me was, yes; definitely trust in the universe to provide. We live in an ever-abundant universe. AND, it’s wise to take appropriate action as well.

It suddenly occurred to me that the problem wasn’t in each of our individual perspectives; the problem was that neither of us was embracing both sides. The statement doesn’t say, “just trust” or “just tie up your camel”. You have to do both.

Finally, I was able to see there was no real difference in our values after all. By integrating both sides I felt we could come to an elegant solution to whether or not we were going to Australia. I shared my revelation with my husband and we got to work looking at the whole picture.

At this moment it’s still not clear if we’re going, AND we’re having a much more unified time deciding.

It’s YOUR life…imagine the possibilities!