Wilson Ng

If Only

There is not much we can do for what already happened, but there is SOMETHING we can do to make what we want to happen a reality.

I try to spend a lot of time with my kids, and in as much as possible, try to play together with them.   One of the things we frequently play and enjoy are some educational games and puzzles that tests logic, and many word games.  I will write more about these in the future as I am convinced that many of these games positively develop certain mental and logical aspects of the growing kid.  Of course, as a parent, I would stress that playing together with your kids often also develop stronger bonds with them, and allows them to trust you with their issues as they are growing up, so that they would look at you not only as a parent, but also as their mentor and friend.

One of the success criteria I would gauge myself is how much my children would look up to me even when they reach the puberty and adult age, and this is a job that I believe I  should start to work on even when they are still toddler age.

One of the venerable games , of course,  is the word game SCRABBLE.  Usually there are four of us in the game, my wife, my 11 year old, my 9 year old, and myself.  Of course, my 9 year old is disadvantaged, but luckily, he is not one to be daunted.  However, he does try to show that he knows a thing or two.  And this is through an exercise called "if only". 

He would  say that even if he was the youngest, he could even beat us if only he has the letter "g", so that he could form the word 'forget', which would land on the triple word score, and get him the highest point for the round.  Next round, he would smilingly ask his mom if he could exchange his letter 'v' with his mom's 'b' so that he could form 'bugle' which would get him a higher score.  I would smilingly tell my wife that our son was trying to play the game, IF ONLY....

But many people play the game IF ONLY even long after they have grown up.  If only I worked for a better company , if only I had a more understanding boss, if only I was born to a richer family .... ad nauseam.

Many people mistake good execution with good intentions, and label daydreaming as ambitions.  I for one do not believe that constantly looking back is any good  ( drive  through life looking forward rather than constantly looking at the rear view mirror), and blaming our stars will not get us anywhere.

If only I had a better education, if only I had a better job, if only I had spend more time with my family ....  There is not much we can do for what already happened, but there is SOMETHING we can do to make what we want to happen a reality.

Indeed, instead of merely wishing, why not do something about it?

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