Your Online Personal Ad- Write For Success!

Jun 1
21:00

2004

Toni Coleman, LCSW

Toni Coleman, LCSW

  • Share this article on Facebook
  • Share this article on Twitter
  • Share this article on Linkedin

Where are all the good ... You go to parties, sign up for various ... and ask friends and family if they know anyone they can ... you to. Yet, your dating life has been more than

mediaimage



Where are all the good men/women? You go to parties,Your Online Personal Ad- Write For Success! Articles sign up for various activities and ask friends and family if they know anyone they can introduce you to. Yet, your dating life has been more than a little disappointing. What is a guy/girl supposed to do to find quality people?

Begin by continuing to do what you have been doing. These are all good ways to meet people. However, you may need to expand your search to the world of online dating. This would allow you to expand your search and come into contact with interested and available singles you would never meet in the existing circles in which you now move.

Perhaps you are thinking, "I have already tried this with little or mixed success." Maybe this too has become a source of disappointment and frustration and even despair. If so, you could be going about it the wrong way, or be in need of some information to put you on a track to better success. The first important step is writing your personal ad and choosing a good site to place it on.

The following are tips to help you write for success.

* Be Yourself

The goal of your ad is to attract the kind of person who would be compatible with you. You are looking for someone who shares your goals, values, sense of humor, lifestyle and perhaps religion or other specific criteria. If you put in information that is not true to who you are, you could send potentially good dates on to the next ad. You may also attract the kind of person you are not interested in.

* Be Sincere

Nothing is more attractive than sincerity. Think about it. Isn't this a turn-on for you? If you are funny, be funny. If you are serious, be that. Use honesty in describing your traits and desires in a potential mate. If there is something that is a must-have for you in any future relationship, highlight it. Remember that when and if you move to the next step, the other person will experience you as you really are, regardless of what the picture you drew for them in your ad looked like.

* Write Like You Talk

This goes right along with being you. Don't make your ad seem too contrived or rehearsed. You will loose that feeling of sincerity. Write a few drafts and just let the thoughts flow. Then go back and edit it. Make sure you spell check and check again. There is no bigger turn-off than someone who appears to have poor grammar or spelling.

* Be Specific, But Leave Out Hang-Ups and Other Negatives

This is a first step. You want to put your true best forward. The picture you paint should be upbeat and positive. Everyone has a past. It's not wise too tell too much too soon. If you feel something is important, than put it in. A good example is "single mom", "divorced father of two", etc. Leave out the part about looking for someone to help me heal from a painful divorce.
Do not mention past relationships except to inform that you had one.

* Highlight Your Uniqueness

There are things about us all that make us uniquely who we are. Let your ad portray this. If you have a special talent, interesting career or pastime, let people know about it. If it's important to you, it tells others much. If someone out there shares it, they will be drawn to what you have written.

Find a unique way to highlight yourself. If you look like someone well known, put that in. Just remember, if you look like Woody Allen, don't portray yourself as a Robert Redford type.

* Avoid classic turn-offs

If you place a heavy emphasis on finding someone who is "beautiful" or "wealthy", you will turn off many people- often the very people who hope to attract. No one wants to be wanted for his or her looks or bank account. It also says something about you. How about superficial?

* Use a Picture

This is very important. Ads that don't have one get far fewer responses. Many singles are having a professional picture made of them. You want to look like your BEST self. A professional can usually do a much better job at a very reasonable cost if you shop around a bit.

* Post Your Ad On The Right Site

There are so many choices out there. Look for one that has a large membership of people who appear to be compatible with you. Make sure they have an enforced safety and privacy policy. There are specialty sites for people who seek a partner with a very particular passion or lifestyle. These include but are not limited to: animal lovers, vegetarians, advanced degreed professionals, and sites for people seeking those of the same faith.

If your requirements include someone within a close geographical distance, look for the sites that offer you a good selection.

Once you have given it careful thought and a little research and energy, write and post your ad for success.

Remember, we attract what we are, not what we want.

Article "tagged" as:

Categories:

Also From This Author

What Women Want  From Men, Dating and Relationships

What Women Want From Men, Dating and Relationships

Dear Dating Coach-I have been dating a woman for almost three months. Lately, I have been confused about her behavior and need help to ... what is going on with us and what I can (should) do ab
Love Could Be An Errand Away

Love Could Be An Errand Away

You have signed up on several large dating sites and posted a great profile. So far, you've had some nice responses, but these haven't led to a meeting yet. Someone told you about a singles group at your church and there is an organization in your city for singles who want to volunteer, and hopefully meet other like-minded people. You've lost count of all the parties, happy hours and clubs you've been to, hoping to meet compatible singles. Whew! It's a lot of effort just to be in the right place at the right time with the right people.
Men On Dating- Timing, Turn-offs and Keepers

Men On Dating- Timing, Turn-offs and Keepers

"We met online and seemed to hit it off right from the start. After he answered my ad, we went on our first date, and it was fabulous. I believe we both felt a strong chemistry and learned a lot about each other. At the end of the evening we agreed to get together again. He called me the next day and we talked for three hours. On our second date, we spent the whole day together. After three dates (and many emails, phone calls) - we were talking on a Thursday night. We had previously discussed plans for Saturday. However, he did not mention it before we hung up. I wasn't sure of how to handle the situation, so I waited until a day later and left a voice message for him, saying hi. After four days with no word, I left him an invitation to dinner at my place. I never heard back. What happened? What am I supposed to think?" (Confused Female)