How A Radar Detector Improved My Quality Of Life

Radar detectors are great inventions, allowing average drivers to avoid speed traps and save money on potentially costly tickets.

I’m not the best liar in the world. This is very apparent whenever I get pulled over by the cops for speeding, which is nearly every day. I try my best to improvise on the spot and somehow sway the officer’s opinion, but invariably, John Law hits me with the maximum fine.

Last week for example, I was cruising at a respectable 200mph through a school zone, when I heard the inevitable sirens…the fuzz was after me! I argued passionately with the po-po, explaining how I had to rush my pregnant wife to the hospital—until he pointed out that I was the only one in the vehicle…

The day before, I was stuck in traffic. Not wanting to sit around like a chump, I drove over the divider and into the opposite lane where, to save time, I proceeded to drive in the wrong direction at 250mph (I drive a Bugatti Veyron). Needless to say, the bacon was soon hot on my tail and I was fined yet again.

I figured the time for action had come. There was no way I would change my lifestyle of speed and thrills; that would be too difficult and would require me to obey the law. But still, there had to be a way for me to legally dodge the coppers... Then suddenly the answer hit me—a radar detector!

I researched several online and learned much about this helpful device, the friend to speed demons and the bane of federales. Many radar detectors on the market today offer state of the art features including laser shifting and voice alerts. Others eliminate radio frequency emissions which allow the unit to be undetectable to other radar detectors.

I ordered one for a reasonable price and installed it quickly. In the first week, I got the knack of the device’s workings and soon was using it like a pro. A feeling of security like nothing I have ever felt suffused my soul and made its home in my bosom.

No longer would I be hassled by the man! No longer would I pay the fines that I so clearly owe to society! Viva La Revolucion!

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