Career Suicide - Proclaim Yourself A Victim

There is no quicker way to career suicide than to proclaim yourself a victim. No one likes victims  people are attracted to problem solvers and people in the know  they are repelled by self proclaimed victims.

A true story to describe my point:

In a meeting of managers discussing a number of issues, one of the managers made the statement - a number of times - that " No one ever told him anything." This came as a surprise to the other managers - they thought he was actually one of the really plugged - in people. After he made himself a victim - by his own words - his influence and leverage disappeared. Who would want to seek out a person who was told nothing - and, by inference, knew nothing? Funny thing - he was one of most plugged in people in a really secretive organization. He had more information than most  and was regarded that way. But that changed. And all because he gave himself up  proclaimed himself a victim  and in his case, he wasn't  he just perceived himself as out of the loop.

Have you ever known people that have done the same thing? Have you ever been guilty of it yourself?

It's the quickest way to career suicide in any job. And the person who commits this self inflicted wound is usually just looking to get a little sympathy and understanding from all the kind people they work with. They don't see it as complaining. Huge mistake. It's almost impossible to feel any real sympathy or empathy for a self proclaimed victim. There are too many people who are working hard to redeem and survive and grow and prosper to feel any kind of regard for those "woe is me" types.

I don't mean to imply that you should act as if you have all the answers and are plugged in to everything that goes on in your world - that approach creates it's own problems. But complaining without a constructive goal is a really unattractive behavior - and people avoid that behavior like the plague, and, if it persists, they punish it.

So the next time you're tempted to reach for your crying towel and complain - stop.

Then: Remind yourself that shooting yourself in the foot is very painful. Then remind yourself that the subject of your complaint is probably shared by other people. Then remind yourself that in every complaint is the seed for a constructive thought or comment or, even better, action. Then go in the direction of providing solutions. The upside to that behavior is so positive, and the downside? Well, there is no downside.

Start today  now. And if you know a self  proclaimed victim, copy this article and leave it where they will find it. Others have done that  and it works  some of the time.