Cliches In Business

I wanted to write this article about business clichés for a few reasons, one because of how popular clichés are in today's communication between different people, in and out of the business environment, two because of the absurdity of some of these clichés and three because I actually think that some of them are quite funny because of the lack of truth that they hold or indeed the lack of a need we have for them. Sometimes it's just better to cut the bull and say what you really mean.

So in no particular order:

Cutting Edge

All this actually means is the most recent version of, with slightly less bugs and other issues that come with it. Is technology sharp? Does it come with an edge? Surely you would rather be nearer the centre of the technology, not near the edge of something that could hurt? I'm just saying is all! The fact that anything can be construed as truly cutting edge anymore, in a world where everything is moving so fast that the moment you buy a new phone, it is immediately outdated because of the new "version" that has come out already. The fact that anything could even be associated with the word is a joke, unless you pride yourself in having something that was cutting edge for all of thirty seconds.

Time is Money

This I think is actually the most hilarious of all business clichés. Let me just explain something very quickly, time is not money, time is time and money is money. The second you plant this notion in your head, you are a slave to your business. If you believe that time is money for you, then you may as well just go and get a job because believe me, you will have more time working a 9-5 job, than running a business with the idea that time is money. With this idea, you have pretty much just given yourself to a slightly better paid full time job and I do mean FULL time. Baring in mind that it may not even be a well-paid profession, so really you are walking into a job where all the onus is on you to create a pay check, so seriously, think about what you are saying the next time you even consider this idea.

ETA

Expected time of arrival - Why is it so hard to just say when something is going to happen? Or what time someone is going to get somewhere? This isn't the military and it isn't "more efficient" or anything like that to use this term. Just say what you really mean! This may sound like a rant of sorts and I guess to a certain extent it is, but really, just make life a little simpler, cut this one out of your vocabulary.

Going Forward

If you just look at this and think for a second, now let me ask you a question, which direction are we going anyway? Is there any need for this? You're better off keeping your mouth shut then everybody already knows that the meeting they are sat in which will go on for the next 100 years is actually already to improve things for the future. Maybe going backwards is a better idea? Come on, really?

Ball Park Figure

Let's have it right, when someone says to you that they have a ball park figure in mind, what are your thoughts immediately? Probably somewhere along the lines of, "this guy doesn't have a clue does he?" The thing is people use this ridiculous cliché when they haven't got their figures worked out properly, haven't bothered to actually calculate numbers efficiently or indeed at all! What does that mean anyway? Ball park figure? A ball park is big and has nothing to do with business, you may as well say that you are planning on throwing muck at the wall and just see what sticks.

Let's Make Sure Were All On the Same Page

This means that we are all in understanding with each other, and it just shouldn't. The only time that this should be used, is when people fall asleep in a meeting when they should be following a report or hand-outs for the meeting. Again, not needed and utterly pointless really when you think about it, similar to making sure your all singing from the same hymn sheet? Let's not go there.

So there you have it, some of the most outdated, ridiculous clichés in business that you will come across, or are they? If you any of your own that grind on you please do share them on my website!