Frank Sinatra Didn't Move Pianos

Yesterday, I got a little lesson: Make space in life for living. I was running behind schedule, not an unusual event. I dashed into a gift shop, glanced quickly around and soon spotted what seemed like the perfect gift for a friend handed it to the cashier, asked her to wrap it and pulled out my credit card. She put it in purple tissue paper, placed it in a bag and began to tie a bow. The bow tying would delay me two or three minutes so I told her to skip it. She handed me the bag and dialed in my credit card while I thought to myself "Why didn't she dial my credit card in first?" This would delay me another minute. She became aware of my urgency and began to tease me about being in a hurry.

I was not amused. I was, however amused later that evening when I arrived for a birthday dinner with my friend and realized I had walked out of the gift shop without the gift. I also locked my keys in the car with the engine running while making a "quick stop" before the day was over.

This lesson "make space in life for living" came one month to the day since I turned off my TV, draped a gold tablecloth over it, placed some candles on it and canceled my cable service. I do not miss it one bit. This was a good first step. I am not finished yet.

A friend recently said to me, "Frank Sinatra didn't move pianos." I took this to mean he focused on what he loved and what he was good at and left the rest to others to do what they loved and what they were good at. Perhaps this is what allowed "The Chairman of The Board" to quickly became a legend in his industry
and make time to enjoy living every day.

The people who focus on accomplishment, who plan, project, analyze and organize everything to get a job done, are frequently the same people who would be tuning and moving pianos if they were in the singing business. They would spend too much time on the process and not enough time on the passion. Life is for living not sacrificing your soul doing those things that suck the life out of you.

If you are feeling mired in the minutia of your life, try some of these tips to get unstuck and get out from under, doing so will allow you to start to sing and glide into more real living. Leave the pianos to the moving experts.

Make Space in Your Life for True Living.
Some things make you feel you are really living- like sharing a good meal with great friends, skating in the park, getting front row seats for the opera, taking your dog for a walk on a bright sunny day. We need more time for those activities - and even more time to bring our compelling visions into reality. Where is the time and space in your life going to come from to do that?

Eliminate What You Are Not Passionate About
A coaching client said to me this morning, "I really should go to that class tonight. The instructor is expecting me." I suggested that while the instructor might be disappointed if she did not attend, his disappointment would most likely be short-lived. It is challenging to live our lives meeting the expectations of others - our partners, our children, our friends, our spiritual communities, our neighbors, our coworkers, our teachers, mentors and parents. What would it be like to simply live your life for you-based on your desires and priorities?

Get Clear About Your Priorities
We only have so much time in a day. We often forget that our mental and physical energy is limited as well. When you spend your mental and physical energy focused on a project, it drains your resources and leaves less for what you are really interested in achieving. Pick your priorities and decide how to spend your time with this in mind.

Say No to Anything That Does Not Interest You
Often, we get invited to a personal or professional event and if we have nothing scheduled at that time, we plan to attend. Sometimes, that's fine. It is good to network or socialize, to help out friends. What is not good is to fill your days with "filler activities." Filler activities are be any activities that you are neutral about, that do not contribute to living, that simply waste your precious time. When you are presented with an event, activity or opportunity, ask yourself "Does this situation truly serve me and my priorities?" If the answer is yes go for it. If no, decline.

Get Help
Whatever you are doing that you dread sucks the life force out of you and depletes your resources for the things you love. This can be your laundry, housecleaning, taxes, sending out packets, answering email.

Get More Help.
Make deals with others who dread different things than you. If you hate cleaning and your partner hates cooking, make a deal. If you hate running errands and your friend hates vacuuming, make a deal. Ask yourself "How can I make a deal to make this work for me?" As you go through your day, ask: "Do I need to do this? Is there someone else that would be better at doing this?"

Give it some thought and begin to use these ideas this month.
Make this your theme: I am making more space in my life for what is most important to me. Say it to yourself throughout the day. Write it on Post Notes® and put them in key locations-- your computer screen, your bathroom mirror, your nightstand. Remember no more moving pianos.