What I'm about to tell you I've experienced time and time again first-hand. We tend to latch on to the negative or bad things that happen to us instead of being happy with the little things in life that make us smile. One of the most damaging things you can do is to think of yourself as a failure if something doesn't immediately go your way. Ultimately, you have to believe in yourself even if it seems like no one else does.
Throughout the years,
there were too many times to count where I was so negative and down in the dumps, I didn't allow myself to work at improving my situation. I would just sit there and feel sorry for myself instead of taking action to correct what was wrong. For a very long time if anything bad would happen to me, whether it was missing a few stoplights in a row to getting an unexpected home repair bill, I thought I was cursed and being punished for something. I simply thought that I had bad luck and that there wasn't anything I could do to change that fact.
Along with that damaging attitude came the very annoying trait of mine to complain about everything to anyone that would sit there and listen. I couldn't tell you how many times someone would be talking to me about something good that happened to them when I would start talking about something awful that happened to me that day. As if that wasn't bad enough, I'd talk in a slow, depressed kind of way that didn't exactly make me the most fun to be around. I spent so much time complaining about how nothing was ever going to change, that I lost out on a heck of a lot of days that could have been used to work on solutions. At the time, I really didn't understand how much doing all these things hurt me and so it was very hard to change my personality to be more positive and productive.
What I'm about to tell you I've experienced time and time again first-hand. Be positive. That's it...just try and be more positive every single day. This isn't some new age idea or anything like that. Tons of books have been written on this very subject and sell extremely well, because the bulk of us tend to concentrate more on what's negative in our lives rather than the positive. For example, what do you think more people would talk about on a given day in the lunchroom? Would they be more likely to talk about something good, like someone opening the door for them earlier that day or the fact that they stubbed their toe when they first got out of bed? We tend to latch on to the negative or bad things that happen to us instead of being happy with the little things in life that make us smile.
One of the most damaging things you can do is to think of yourself as a failure if something doesn't immediately go your way. The only way we can expect to succeed at something is if we fail. Every failure should teach us something and bring us that much closer to ultimate success. If all of us could just achieve any and everything that we tried, we'd all be experts and there'd be no specialized talents in the world or individualism. Embrace what you do really well and if there's something new you'd like to try or do, then learn about it and try things out until it works.
Ultimately, you have to believe in yourself even if it seems like no one else does. Only you have the power to get yourself out of bed and have another positive and productive day. Some could equate this driving force that moves us to action as blind faith in ourselves, but really it's more than that. When you have a goal that you're working toward, that's your focus and your end accomplishment. So, all you have to do is plan out the smaller steps to take along the way until you eventually get to the finish line. In this way, it's not blindly going about each day hoping for positive events to find you, rather taking baby steps along the way so you can achieve your goals in more manageable chunks.
When you think about it, being positive rather than negative helps you in everything you do. Not only are there physical benefits like lower blood pressure and less stress, but the people you interact with will respond much better. You'll meet more people, make more sales, and network much easier with a positive approach to the world. No one wants to be around someone negative because then it brings them down too and they'd rather leave a conversation with you feeling good, not wondering to themselves why they talked to you in the first place. Believe me, I know; I used to be that person.
Another fact to consider is how sometimes we feel like we're so set in our ways that we can't work on our personalities anymore. We think to ourselves that we're either too old or too set in our ways and just give excuses for remaining the same. If you feel this way, you're giving an excuse for your actions and lying to yourself. We can always change our actions whether we're 10 years old or 80. It just takes effort and the willingness to admit we might have been wrong about our actions or how we've dealt with our problems in the past. Stop thinking of reasons why you can't do it and start thinking of ways that you CAN! Yes, it does take more effort to correct something that's wrong in our lives than to just keep going with the flow and do nothing, but is that really a life you'd like to live?
Here's another insight into my personality. I can be extremely stubborn about a great number of things in life. There have been times when I wouldn't let go of my convictions no matter what anyone could say or do, even if I was hurting the ones around me. It took me awhile to see what I was doing and took even longer to change those patterns into something more fruitful. I wasn't perfect back then nor am I anywhere close to perfection now, but at least I got to the point where I could step back from myself and admit that maybe I could look at things differently and start treating people better, while trying to see things from their point of view. Once I did this, I couldn't tell you how much of a difference I could see in my relationships with others, both personal and business. It's like a cloud had been lifted from my head and I gained a greater understanding of human interaction. All I can say is to give it a shot and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised what you find.
