It Helps To Speak The Language

Years ago when I was stationed in Germany, my recently widowed mother came for a visit. She had never left the States before, so this was an adventure for her. Actually, she took it in stride. She's a people person, and "seeing the sites" just never was what she was interested in. She probably enjoyed her visit to a department store in Karlsruhe more than the jaunt into France that we took her on.

It was in the department store that I was reminded that sometimes people just want you to "speak their language"...a lesson I saw repeated many times during the six years I lived overseas.

In the department store, my mother was shopping as easily as if she was in her Sears store back in Pensacola, Florida. However, at one point, she had a question and, not thinking about language differences, walked up to a sales clerk and asked her a question in English. The sales clerk was coldly polite, but responded in German and did not seem to understand my mother's question.

At that point, I walked up and repeated my mother's inquiry in German. As often happened, the woman broke into a smile, albeit with a slightly surprised look on her face, and responded in German, "Oh! You speak German?"I responded that I did and explained that my mother was visiting from the U. S., was recently widowed, had never traveled abroad before, and, unfortunately, did not speak German.

The sales clerk began speaking English, about as good as my German, and answered my mother's questions gladly. She also chatted with us for a while, asking where my mother was from in the States, and telling us that she had a sister in Chicago and had visited there a while back. She helped us with the rest of our shopping in that department, and said goodbye to us as if we were old friends when we left, wishing my mother a pleasant visit in Germany and a safe trip back to Florida.

I have seen this repeated not only in Germany, but also in France, where I only had about six words in my arsenal. People who seemed unwilling to help or uncertain about how to act in my presence became animated, friendly, and extremely helpful when I showed a willingness to communicate with them in their own language, or at least meet them half way in a lively game of charades. Quick now, how do you say, "my two year old daughter must use the bathroom" in a foreign language? The clock was ticking on that one.

There is another scene which I have often observed as well, and it could indicate why people in foreign lands do not always rush to help visitors. Once, in a railway coach in Germany, two Americans sat discussing loudly, in English, how terrible it was that the people there did not speak English. They were oblivious to the fact that several of the Germans within earshot DID apparently speak English. The Americans complained loud and long about how difficult it was to shop, order a meal, or enjoy the sights without getting lost when nobody spoke "their" language.

I wonder how many of those types of people the saleslady in the department store had encountered? How much more would that American couple have enjoyed their visit to Germany if they had simply taken the time to learn a few simple phrases and had attempted to communicate in German? Who knows how many helpful salesladies would have emerged from the shadows to assist them...maybe even in English?How many times, whether in business or in our personal relationships, have we judged others by their response to our attempt to communicate to them? How many times in those moments of potential friendship and good fellowship, or dire need, have we been busy expressing our demands and expectations rather than speaking words that others could, and would be willing to, understand.

It may be unfortunate, but true, that many of us are victims of our own interest in ourselves, or our uncertainty about the intentions of others. Many a salesman will tell you that a good way to sell something is to present the benefits to the customer, not hammer out a list of what YOU believe are the "selling points" of the product. Many a successful network marketer has learned that one of the best ways to "sell" is to simply be a dependable friend and confidant, willing to listen and try to understand. The friends created in this manner become the "network" that helps promote the individual in an ever expanding circle and helps bring potential customers to the marketer.

Certainly, others have the same obligation as we to take the steps to improve all sorts of communication between people. However, if they have not had the opportunity to learn how to do so, or if they have never met someone willing to speak to them in "their language", then you become the one with the opportunity to expand your circle of wonderful and exciting relationships. Perhaps even some of them will see what you did and how you did it and will teach that lesson to others as well.

It is a simple lesson, you know. If we just want to have some friends or to get some help, rather than voicing our needs, wants, and desires in a way that seems to expect the listener to understand us, we try talk to them in their own language.