Others Enhance Our Energy and Self-Assurance

The key is that our friends and mentors reinforce who we are inside. If it’s the other way around – that is, we let others define us – we lose touch with ourselves and drain ourselves of energy. We become a poor facsimile of who we really are, which limits both our opportunities to do great things and our ability to shine.

The first two Stilletto Steps helped us discover our energy sources and accept what we learned. Next, it’s important to surround ourselves with positive ‘mirrors’ to reflect and reinforce that energy and internal knowledge.

Discovering who we are inside takes feminine energy, but putting that into action in the outside world takes masculine energy. This flow from one to the other is another example of good “Gender Physics.” We need this balance when taking the third Stilletto Step, as we are all more motivated (and energized) when we know that who we are inside is valued in the outside world.

I learned this lesson as a young woman entering the male-dominated fertilizer business. There were no other women in management, and none that were higher than me on the ladder. Fortunately I was able to find a sympathetic male friend in the office with whom I could commiserate. Just as Frodo had Sam in the Lord of the Rings, I had a buddy to listen to my stories and provide me with feedback. We successfully worked on many programs together, and our mutual commitment to each other and to the company meant that we had better results than we would have had independently.

Knowing who we are inside and finding external support enhances our energy, leading to endless possibilities. What people in your external world reinforce your inner energy?