We all need the energy of others to help us make changes in our lives and assist us in reaching our goals. Having friends and mentors join us on our journey provides us with much-needed support, encouragement, and advice. This external validation of our internal compass is the third Stilletto Step of Self-Assurance.
The key is that our friends and mentors reinforce who we are inside. If it’s the other way around – that is, we let others define us – we lose touch with ourselves and drain ourselves of energy. We become a poor facsimile of who we really are, which limits both our opportunities to do great things and our ability to shine.
The first two Stilletto Steps helped us discover our energy sources and accept what we learned. Next, it’s important to surround ourselves with positive ‘mirrors’ to reflect and reinforce that energy and internal knowledge.
Discovering who we are inside takes feminine energy, but putting that into action in the outside world takes masculine energy. This flow from one to the other is another example of good “Gender Physics.” We need this balance when taking the third Stilletto Step, as we are all more motivated (and energized) when we know that who we are inside is valued in the outside world.
I learned this lesson as a young woman entering the male-dominated fertilizer business. There were no other women in management, and none that were higher than me on the ladder. Fortunately I was able to find a sympathetic male friend in the office with whom I could commiserate. Just as Frodo had Sam in the Lord of the Rings, I had a buddy to listen to my stories and provide me with feedback. We successfully worked on many programs together, and our mutual commitment to each other and to the company meant that we had better results than we would have had independently.
Knowing who we are inside and finding external support enhances our energy, leading to endless possibilities. What people in your external world reinforce your inner energy?
After a highly successful career in business, including 26 years with
PotashCorp where she was Senior Vice-President, Betty-Ann retired in
2007, the same year that she was named to Canada‘s Most Powerful Women:
Top 100 Hall of Fame™. She now works as a speaker, author and mentor and
is committed to using her personal and professional experiences to
inspire and empower other women. A firm believer in the value women
bring to organizations, Betty-Ann explores changing perceptions of male
and female roles including candid observations about what she calls
"Good Gender Physics” on her blog at www.stillettochick.com.
She helps both men and women understand the primary energy of their
gender but also accept and appreciate the strengths of their opposite.
