The Magic of Change

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Thanks, Claudette Rowley
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The Magic of Change
By Claudette Rowley
Copyright 2004

"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly
secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in
what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the
adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in
change there is power."
- Alan Cohen


Often when I ask new clients how they handle change, I hear
responses such as "I hate change!" or "I'm terrible at change."
It's very rare that someone says to me "I love change. When
change appears in my life, I just go with the flow."

Change is a part of life. In fact, some would say that
maintaining balance in the midst of change IS life. Change is
always happening. We only need to look at the natural world to
know this. Human life, like nature, ebbs and flows, lives and
dies, can erupt like a volcano and be as peaceful as the stream
burbling through your backyard. Yet so often we resist that
which is natural.

The "magic" in change is being present with it. Being present
with it means allowing it to be what it is. It's so easy to
resist change because it stimulates fear, it's unknown and we
feel out of control. However, you have the choice to allow
change rather than resisting it. Here's a sentence that often
helps me: "It is what it is, so it couldn't be different."

Keys to allowing:

* Keep in mind that you don't have to like it; you just have to
allow it. Caveat: Often when we're told to ACCEPT a situation,
we think that means we have to like it. You don't have to
like it, you simply need to allow without judgment - your
thoughts, feelings, and actions.

* Observe your thoughts and emotions objectively. Observing
your thoughts and emotions heightens your awareness of
them. Rather than simply being "in" them, you can also be
conscious of them.

* Notice what you are resisting. You are in resistance when you
are thinking something "should be different than it is." I
want to make a distinction here. Often at work or in our
personal lives, we see situations that definitely need to be
addressed or improved. Here's the subtle difference where
change is involved: When you notice something that you think
should be different, first allow it. It is what it is. From a
place of acceptance, you can choose whether to take action,
say what needs to be said or do nothing.

* Refrain from judgment - judgment of yourself, others or
situations. The moment you judge yourself, another person or a
situation, you are in resistance and not present. The trick
here is to keep noticing and observing any judgment. We are
socially conditioned to judge, so most of do it unconsciously
much of the time. Caveat: It's easy to start judging yourself
for judging. That's your mind looking for a way to take you
out of presence. It's a common occurrence, so be attentive to
it.

One of the easiest ways to live is from consciousness - being
present in each moment and aware of your thoughts, feeling and
actions. Change is part of the flow of life. Resisting it won't
stop it; nothing will. You're as likely to prevent change as
you are to stop ocean tides. Allow for change, allow it to be
what it is. That's the magic.