The Pros and Cons of a Male Mentor

Pros

1) Most men will advise you to be unemotional, and sometimes this is a lesson that women need to learn.

2) Men generally hold higher positions in organizations, so they can be a powerful advocate for getting you promoted.

3) Men will teach you how to banter, which is how they communicate with each other and express acceptance.

4) A man always asks for a raise and will encourage you to do the same, rather than taking what is offered to you.

Cons

1) They’ll recommend aggressive interpersonal actions that work for men but aren’t always acceptable for women. We have to filter their advice and consider the context.

2) If you are seen together too much, especially alone, rumors that you are having an affair can become common; in such cases the woman is always the loser!

3) Having never been exposed to it, most men don’t understand sexual discrimination or gender stereotyping. Many may also be ignorant of your work-life conflicts.

4) Men automatically establish hierarchies, so many of them will want it to be clear that you are the subordinate. Women, who tend to be more egalitarian, like shared-power relationships.

Obviously there are lots of good reasons to have a male mentor – and in some professions, such as engineering, there is hardly any way around it. To make a cross-gender mentoring relationship work, be open about differences, seek to understand the opposite prospective, and set boundaries. All of us can use more than one mentor, so why not mix them up?