Create an Incredible Sexual Relationship with a Woman

If you want this relationship to get past the third or fourth date, a great sexual rapport is vital.

Most of us are anxious about our bedroom abilities. It doesn't matter how beatific our partner's smile, there's a voice in the back of our head wondering if we were good enough. So here's the good news: you don't have to be amazing in bed to build up a rapport – but the more of a rapport you build, the better you're going to become.

When you meet a new girl, remember that she's just as nervous about sex as you are. Possibly more so – after all, you get to look like a stud the morning after; she's worried you'll think she's a slut.

Your first time together will be awkward. There will be moments when you don't know where to put your hands or she winces or you blurt out something stupid. It's going to happen. The first step to building a sexual rapport is knowing how to deal with this. Sex shouldn't be a serious business – if something goes wrong, don't give up and don't apologize. Laugh with her, and then try again.

Don't try to use all your best moves the first time you sleep with someone. Girls often complain that changing positions breaks their mood, so if she likes what you're doing, don't spoil things by trying to spice them up.

Likewise, don't feel like the longer you last the better you'll be. If you've been hammering away for half an hour, there's a good chance she's getting uncomfortable; sometimes, less really is more.

There is one thing that girls can't get enough of, though, and that's foreplay. The fact is, if you want her to come back for more, you've got to make sure she enjoys herself. And that means using your fingers, your tongue and a lot of imagination. It may also mean looking for clues.

Unfortunately, girls are notoriously shy about telling us what they like, so instead of asking her what she wants in bed, watch how she behaves. If she pulls away, she wants less pressure; if she pushes forward, she wants more. Watch where she puts her hands – wherever she touches herself, take over; if she's grabbing at you, be more forceful.

Don't be afraid to tell her what you want, but do remember that when it comes to sex girls' egos are easily bruised. Instead of telling her “don't do that”, tell her what you would like instead; use guiding words like “harder”, “gentler”, “more” or “less”. When she does something you love, say so. If she's getting something wrong, make it easier for her to deal with by sandwiching the news between two compliments, for example, “I love it when you go down on me. I got a couple of nips from your teeth, but the feel of your tongue is awesome.”

As you get to know her better, start talking about the things you would like to try and fantasies you want to act out. If you're nervous about being so open, start by telling her you read about a great new trick in a magazine or you had a really dirty dream about her last night.

When she tells you her own fantasies, don't dismiss them outright – unless you have real objections to them, give them a try; she'll appreciate your attempt to please her, and you might just find you enjoy yourself!