Dating Your Ex - Is it the Right Move For You?

If you've just gone through a breakup you might be tossing around the question of whether or not dating your ex again is a good idea. It's not the right plan for every couple but a second chance might be the perfect answer for you. How do you know the difference?

Begin by making a list of "pros" and "cons" about what was good and bad about your previous relationship. Now that there has been a little bit of time and distance from the heat of emotion you might be able to create this list with a little more objectivity than in the days immediately following (or even prior to) your breakup.

The importance of the list lies in the fact that you can take a nice long look and decide what you're willing to deal with and what is going to have to change in order for things to work out this time around. One thing is certain: things can't go on as they were before the breakup if you are hoping for a different outcome this time around.

The next thing you need to do is decide which changes you're willing to make and which changes your ex needs to make in order to get the ball rolling. If you're considering a second chance at romance for the two of you, both of you are going to have to make some changes and some sacrifices. Relationships require a little bit of give and take from both parties in order to be successful.

The list is only the beginning though. You need to go back through the relationship and examine all the outside influences as well. Your family, the family of your ex, work, friends, and hobbies all impact the relationship the two of you have together.

These things may have been the end of things for the two of you as a couple. Will they continue to interfere now or drive a wedge between you? Are you willing to move past the dividing forces or prevent them from having the same hold over you?

Finally, you must decide if you love your ex enough to make things work this time around. Dating your ex after a breakup is definitely not a decision to take lightly. It should never be done if you're ambivalent about your ex or if you know that there is no love left between the two of you.

Duty and obligation are not proper reasons for trying to make things work. Love is the only genuine reason to even attempt dating your ex again after a breakup. Do you love your ex enough to give your relationship a second chance?