Don't Let Fear Keep You From Meeting Exciting Women!

Let's understand one thing - before you ask her out, you've got to meet and talk with her. If you can't do that, you're not going to be able to ask her out - and then how can you have a good date with her? That's why it's absolutely crucial that you overcome your approach anxiety.

Some people think that approach anxiety can't actually be overcome. Some people think that approach anxiety is hardwired into our genetic makeup. Others insist that approach anxiety actually can be overcome.

These are a couple of approaches that men have found useful in overcoming approach anxiety:

The 3-second Rule

This is a pretty straightforward idea. Here's how it works: the more time you spend contemplating approaching a particular woman, the more anxious you'll become about it - and the less likely it is you'll ever say "hello" to her. The anxiety needs time to build up enough to stop you - so don't give it that time! Within 3 seconds of seeing a woman you want to meet, approach her. This is an approach you have to use all the time if you expect it to be successful. You can't try to trick yourself with excuses - this is something you have to commit to. Now, there are going to be circumstances when it really won't make sense to follow the 3-second rule, for example she's sitting in a restaurant booth with romantic lighting with a boyfriend or husband. But if you're in a club, at the beach, in the park, in a grocery store, or nearly any other situation where you can talk out loud, go for it!

Approach Anxiety can be Overcome with the Power of Money

A wingman is necessary to this approach, but it's remarkably successful. For some guys, just having a buddy there watching is sufficient motivation to get out there and meet women.

If more motivation is necessary, though, do this: give your wingman five $20 bills or 10 $10 bills. Here's how it works: every time you approach a woman and talk with her, he gives you back $10 or $20, based on some criteria you two agree on beforehand. If you don't go out and meet women, then, you're going to go home broke!

Let's be frank, though. These are just two ways of dealing with the problem. They don't really solve the problem. To permanently remove approach anxiety from your makeup, you're going to have to put some time and effort into determining its root cause and dealing with that.

Despite the claims of those who claim that approach anxiety is hereditary, I think that it's a learned response.

I think that when all the extraneous stuff is swept aside, the one consistent factor influencing approach anxiety is shame.

It's shame that you're feeling when you're experiencing approach anxiety. Maybe you're uncomfortable with yourself - a good enough reason to be reluctant to bring someone into your life. Maybe you think you shouldn't be talking with a beautiful woman. Who knows? Your situation is unlike anyone else's, and I don't want to paint people with a broad brush.