Failure to launch: how to date men who live at home

In the film, Failure to Launch, Matthew McConaughey dates women, they start talking marriage, and he gets cold feet.

He decides she should break up with him. His strategy? Invite the girl to his place – only it’s not his place. It’s his parents’ family home. The girl’s dreams of an independent man are shattered. She dumps him and he’s off the hook.

In real life, however, many men still live with their parents and are actually interested in developing long-term relationships.

When dating a guy who lives at home, here are five important dos and don’ts to remember:

1. Assess the situation. His reason for staying at Mummy’s and Daddy’s better be good. Acceptable excuses are: “I was living on my own for a while but I’ve come back for a year to save for a home deposit”. Or “‘I’m staying with my parents until I complete my demanding law degree.” Unacceptable excuses are: “Mum does my cooking and washing” or “Mum and Dad are the only friends I’ve got.”

2. Silence is a virtue. While normally you would convey your date’s kissing prowess by letting out little sighs, at his parents’ place you must learn to love in silence.

3. Listen to directions. It’s one thing to visit your date’s place for the first time, it’s quite another when it’s also home to his parents. If your date gives you a quick tour of the house, be sure to listen up. My friend Sarah once had the horrifying experience of entering what she thought was the bathroom, only to find her date’s parents sitting up in bed. “I’d accidentally walked straight into their bedroom!” she says.