Finding Mrs. (Or Mr.) Right

After years of relationships lasting anywhere from a few days to a few years, ranging from the sex-based to the love-based to the misnamed friendships to the what-was-I-thinking, some taking place entirely online, one where I moved in with the person (and most anything in between), I have decided that it is time to really take a look at what the perfect woman and perfect relationship are made of. And, if you're reading this right now, I know you want that to as well.

So, how are we going to do that?

First, we need to decide what worked (and what didn't) in all those relationships. Think about anything (small and large) that you liked and didn't like about all those not-so-perfect people you were with before... think about things that you find yourself wanting and about things you don't care too much about, but would be nice to have in a person, anyway.

Here are a random few of the things from my list (in absolutely no order):

The good:

• Can and will be emotionally supportive of me
• Values me as a person
• Likes gardening (and lets me do the weeding)
• Wears the same size clothes as I do

The bad:

• Wants to be with me only when I'm with someone else
• Only wants sex
• Is scared of holding hands in public
• Doesn't bathe regularly

Next, we need to see how important each of these qualities really are... and remember: honestly is crucial here! I can tell you there are things on my list that I think shouldn't be important... but I can't deny that really they are for me. For example, I cannot be in a relationship with someone who misuses/mispronounces words ... over and over again.

It is only at this point that we have any chance of finding (and knowing we found) a great potential partner... because now we can say we know ourselves and our wants and needs.

The next step is living. That shouldn't be too hard, right? In the process of living and doing what you like, there are opportunities to meet people every day. Maybe one of those will turn into something special. The worst relationships I (and my friends) have been in, are those that began when looking for a date. And those near-perfect ones: they just snuck up on all of us... blossoming from a shared interest.

Now, I've gotta get out and live! There are people to meet!