Can you draw a parallel between celebritiy relationships and others? Why isn't beauty enough for these women to keep their men from straying? Dennis explains from a man's perspective.
Hi Dennis,
From your experience, what causes a man to leave his wife for another woman? Such as Tom Cruise leaving Nicole Kidman for Penelope, and Brad Pitt leaving Jennifer Aniston for Angelina.
What do you think was the primary reason? The "other" woman being more beautiful, sexier and more sexually aggressive cannot be enough of a reason.
Did Tom and Brad find a deeper emotional connection with these new women as well as a deeper sexual connection? What was the catapult?
Or; are they just perpetual womanizers, never satisfied with what they have?
Hello!
You say that being more sexually aggressive cannot be enough of a reason - why not?
You're using your own, female yardstick to judge these guys without understanding the guys themselves. You're assuming that because Kidman is more attractive (far more, in my humble) than Cruz that's enough to keep him around. You probably also feel that way about Aniston.
I've heard this argument many times from women. It goes like this: "Well, she's just so....gorgeous! What do these guys want anyway???" These foolish women are thinking that men are mostly interested in a woman's looks and if some of the most beautiful women in the world can't keep a guy, what chance do they have?
Sound familiar?
Women want to paint men with a broad brush in this way. Since they believe that men are purely visual; they also assume that's all it takes to make a man happy.
Let's take the celebrities out of the equation entirely here since you really don't know the context of any of this. Both of these marriages could easily be shams; just as the divorces could have been, for the benefits of the performers. This has been used as a way to keep entertainers in the media "loop" since celebrity began! Thus, let's not use it as an example of the real world.
With "real guys" you're totally off-base thinking that if a woman is just beautiful enough, she'll be able to keep a guy. Not so at all - it has very little to do looks. I constantly see women of average looks steal men from beauties! Why? Simple: a woman's looks ONLY get her in the door. NOTHING ELSE. If this weren't true, no woman over the age of 40 would ever have a relationship!
Men are looking for MANY other things. What are they looking for? That depends on the guy for a complete answer, but the reality is this: any woman that is sexually skilled and works to keep her man attracted to her sexually rarely loses him. That is a fact. Also a fact: bad marriages that have a great sex life rarely end, but even great marriages with bad sex lives almost always end.
Today, I see so many women doing really, really dumb things and then being surprised when they lose great guys - or just can't seem to get dates. I've seen many people - even so called "experts" - telling women to do these dumb things! Interestingly, many of these same women come to me and tell me how something that they've been told just blew up in their faces. I just have to hang my head and wonder sometimes.
The bottom line is that men leave women because they aren't getting what they want. It's that simple. If you or any woman wants to keep her man around tomorrow, you'd better learn this fact and invest in him today. What I see happening is just the opposite. Men investing and investing and investing trying to get a return and finally just giving up and moving on because their woman didn't pay off by bothering to learn what he needed to stay around.
Best regards...
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Have a love, dating, relationship, sex or man/woman question? You can write to me by going to: http://beingaman.com/ask_question.asp for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's Worldtm" (volumes I and II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.
Copyright (c) 2007, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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