Matt Fuller

Online dating - Love or lies?

Most of us are skeptical when it comes to trusting new people we meet in our everyday home, social or work environments. So why do the rules seem to change when a stranger comes knocking at your door through the tangled wires of the internet.

When Comparing the two scenarios of meeting a complete stranger face to face or via an online chat room, its pretty easy to see how people can get lulled into a false sense of security. But, realistically, there is no difference what so ever. What better opportunity for an online predator to weave his way into your home (and your children's) and gain your trust even before you meet in person.

Put yourself in the same scenario in the offline world. Even if you are single and looking, lets say (hypothetically) a man was to walk straight up to your front door and engage you in a conversation that involved questions about your personal life such as where you worked, what you liked to do for fun, how many kids you had, when was the last time you had a love interest, are you single etc etc The vast majority of people would close the door and call the police. Why then, are we willing to divulge all of the above information to total strangers that approach us online?

The internet provides innocent, lonely and vulnerable singles with a sense of protection that really is not there. Yes there IS a real person sitting at their computer hacking away at your personal details for their own gratifications. The internet and chat rooms can be a very dangerous option for lonely hearts. On the other side of the coin, many singles who use online dating that are clever enough to be very selective with whom they trust on the internet often go on to finding someone very special to fall in love with.

According to social behaviour analysts, there are two distinct groups of singles who are vulnerable to internet predators. 1/ Teenagers: Particularly those young people that have had little or no guidance in their upbringing. Interestingly, teens with no male role model were targets of online sex predators. 2/ Lonely women and men recently split from a long term relationship: Many people that have recently split from their partner will face issues such as low self esteem and anxiety. This group of singles are also in danger of abuse if they are using online dating sites .

How can we be sure that the person we are chatting to online is really the person they say they are - We can't be sure. You may be engaging in conversation with a pedophile, serial rapist or a murderer. Whilst women find comfort in the degree of initial anonymity, they would be well served to research security measures they can apply before signing up to cyber dating.

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