Relationship Dating: Aren't You Going Dutch?

It's been a good evening. You and your date met at one of those trendy restaurants. Yes it's an upscale kind of place but it has a good down to earth vibe. The conversation between the two of you was nothing short of dazzling. Both of you came prepared with plenty of material to talk about. Turns out you didn't really need it. The natural connection that the two of you share just took over and before you knew it a couple of hours passed by.

Dinner was the bomb. Everything was well prepared and delicious. You and your date both agree that this place should become a regular spot. That is until you get the check.

You were so into each other that you lost track of those second helpings you both ordered. And wow did it add up. Factor in the gratuitous tip and it looks like you may have to take out a bank loan to pay for this meal.

That unfortunately is not the worst part. Now due to a lack of communication there is confusion about who is going to pay what. Your date thought you were going to pay since you were the one that asked them out.  You figured they were going to pay or at least chip in since they were the ones who suggested this overpriced establishment with the crummy food (amazing how a bill can change your perspective). You would have been satisfied going to Mickey D's and ordering a happy meal.

Nevertheless you make the grand gesture and pay the entire amount but that doesn't mean you are happy about it. Your date senses this but is not quite sure what to say.  Suddenly, all that great chemistry has been replaced by an uncomfortable silence.  Saying goodbye at the door is nothing more than a grunt and a mumble. Then it's over. Maybe in more ways than one.

It should go without saying that deciding who pays what should be worked out beforehand but over the years this has tripped up many would be dating partners. In the old days it was assumed the man would automatically pick up the tab for everything. Thankfully those days are gone.  Sort of. While a lot of women have no problem footing the bill, there are still quite a few who are of the old school mindset.  Some men of course feel the same way but everybody likes to be treated from time to time.

The point is to not let yourself get caught in this type of situation again. You can always call your date and apologize for what took place and your attitude afterwards. You may have to eat some humble pie and tell them that you bear the blame for the confusion. Hopefully your date is on the same wavelength and shoulders some of that responsibility. Even if they don't and you two still feel good about each other make plans to go out again and decide whose paying.

You could take turns or decide to go dutch for awhile. Not having to monitor what somebody else decides to order can be a huge burden off your shoulders.

You are not a cheapskate and neither is your date. But we live in expensive times and it seems like the cost of everything is going up.  Therefore it's more than understandable that you don't want to be the one who always has to shell out the bucks on a date. However keep in mind that the other person is also feeling the economic squeeze.  Try to find that common ground that is agreeable to both of you. Then enjoy your nights on the town.