Why My Ex Boyfriend Will Want To Get Back Together With Me

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If you want to have a shot at rebuilding a broken relationship, your first step should be to examine and understand some potential relationship problems that could have contributed to the breakup to begin with. You don't need to undergo a personality makeover and become someone you're not, but you don't want to continue negative behavior and expect something to change anyway. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly while expecting a different outcome. If you want to avoid the stereotypical attributes of a "crazy ex" you're going to need to take a good, hard look at some of your behavior. Not only will it help you understand what may have gone wrong in your relationship, it can give you a starting point for moving forward and making a positive effort to get your relationship back. More things you can do to get your boyfriend interested in getting back together with you at the last paragraph of this write-up.

 

While considering the list below, you may think that these actions don't sound like you at all. They seem to be extreme versions of simply negative behavior, but when you start looking at the reality of your breakup and the moments leading up to it, you may come to some realizations that can knock you back a few steps. Recognizing the problem is the first step towards a positive change that can allow you the opportunity to rebuild your relationship - and make it stronger than ever in the process.

 

- Feeding on Drama and Conflict

 

Think for a moment about the difference between the way your ex interacted with his friends and the way you interact with yours. You know every aspect of your girlfriend's lives, down to what you think they should wear, what they should say to whom and how their date went last night. Guys don't really go for the drama at all. They're typically easy-going and they take things at face-value without having to dig through a bunch of stuff to uncover a root cause. If you always came to your guy with problems and never let him get the chance to advise you, it could easily become too much for him to deal with.

 

Of course, couples should have open communication and the ability to come to each other with problems as they arise. It does mean that you have to keep the level of drama to a minimum. When discussing things with your ex, leave the emotional aspects and the curiosity on the curb and express the facts. He'll be much more involved in the conversation and be able to give you a concrete plan to move forward and reopen the lines of communication.

 

- Manipulation through Guilt

 

You probably learned very early on that guilt can take you places and allow you to get your way. Did your father forget a birthday and you guilt-tripped him into taking you out for ice-cream? Were you able to get your way with your siblings or parents as a child? It's safe to say that kind of emotional manipulation often feeds over into relationships and can dictate the way you interact with your romantic partner.

 

While compromise is a valuable asset to any relationship, is the level of compromise lopsided? Did your ex constantly get roped into things you wanted but you weren't willing to return the favor? Did you use a guilt-trip to get him to concede and give you your way? If you want to correct this negative habit, you need to approach him honestly. Accept that you made mistakes while you were together and you've recognized how your behavior could make him feel. Admit that you're human and you're not perfect - than make an attempt to correct the behavior going forward and promise to be more aware of your behavior in the future.

 

- Using Threats and Ultimatums

 

The underlying keys to a successful relationship are honesty, communication and respect. Relationships are about building trust while working together towards a common goal. If you've realized that your attempts to win your ex back aren't going according to plan, you may have let an ultimatum slip past your lips before you had a chance to think about what you were saying. If you're threatening your ex-boyfriend or giving him a deadline to change his mind "or else", you've shattered the balance of a healthy relationship and thrown trust overboard. You're not going to get anywhere with this kind of behavior. In fact, you're going to set the breakup in stone and ruin your own chance to win him back.

 

- Inviting Others to Your Pity Party

 

Girls get away with emotional outbursts and other feeling-driven behaviors that guys couldn't do in their wildest dreams. Mostly this dichotomy is based on a difference in the way that guys and girls are raised. Men often grow up with an inherent need to protect the women in their lives. They feel important and gain a lot of self-worth when they feel needed. Women, on the other hand, have somehow come to the realization that, like guilt, crying can end an argument instantly and that displays of emotions can often get them sympathy and comfort instead of another fight.

 

The truth of the matter is that crying may stop a few fights or get your ex-boyfriend to talk to you, but you don't have a very good chance of it reversing a breakup on its own. If for some reason it DOES, what's that relationship going to be based on? It will be an unequal balance where the belief that crying gets you your way has been reinforced and over time, it will get old. Encouraging an ex to pity you in an effort to get them back is going about things in the wrong way, and it's not going to create a lasting relationship overall.

 

Your Next Steps

 

Hopefully now you understand some of the reasons why he won't get back together with you. Now you have to do something about it and change the way he sees you. That is actually quite simple if you can understand something about male psychology. The most effective way to change his perception of you right now is to implement no contact with him. Get this right and he will miss you and wonder where you have gone. You also need to look for signs he still loves you, this will enable you to know where you stand with him.

 

Use highly effective tips for an ex boyfriend and get him falling in love with you all over again. Visit blog links underneath at Author’s Bio.

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