Women Who Cheat On Their Men - Why Do They Do It?
When a woman cheats on her man, it's usually for one of four reasons, and it's beyond the man's control. Women are constantly analyzing their relationships, and if they get the idea that there's a serious flaw - even if that's an inaccurate assessment - she'll start seeking alternate companions to spend time with. Her cheating will be blamed on you, of course, because you're the one she'll hold liable for the failures in the relationship.
Emotional distance, the first of these reasons, is cited as the reason for many breakups. The complaint? "He doesn't pay enough attention to me, we don't communicate enough." Women have many needs, and they're complex. They need to have a sense of belonging in a relationship, and that need is satisfied by a man's actions and words. If a woman isn't made to feel beautiful and valuable, and a real partner in a relationship, she'll blame the man, regardless of why she really isn't feeling those things. Without the emotional intimacy, the relationship's on rocky ground, and a woman is often likely to step out in search of a new man.
The second reason a woman will cheat on her man is the feeling of neglect. This is related to the concept of emotional distance, but it's not the same. Neglect is more behavioral in nature - for example, if a woman "wants her space" and her man takes her literally and leaves her alone, she may think he's neglecting her because he no longer cares for her. It's critical that men understand that a woman really does need her own space, so that she can grow as an individual and thus contribute more to the relationship, but if he leaves her alone too much, she'll cry "neglect!" and start looking for his replacement.
Self-esteem isn't just something we want to instill in our children - we all need it. Women in a relationship need to have their self-esteem fortified by their men. The conclusion here is plain - if a man won't say and do the things necessary to bolster his woman's self-esteem, she's going to find someone who will, even if by all criteria her man's actions were sufficient. As frustrating as it may be to you, she'll try to get from another man the boost to her self-esteem she feels she's not getting from you. Again, no matter what you're doing to boost her self-esteem, if she thinks you're not doing enough, she'll shop around for someone who will.
The last reason a woman is likely to cheat is that the relationship's really finished, she just hasn't told him. In one sense, the woman who steps out under these circumstances isn't really cheating because in her mind, there's no relationship, but that doesn't make the man feel any better about it. This is a particularlydishonest way of ending a relationship, because the woman is already seeking to form a new relationship while her man isn't even really aware that it's over. The fact that she's loath to end her relationship before attempting to form a new one suggests that her new man and her new relationship will probably suffer just as much from her lack of consideration and her immaturity.
Successful long-term relationships generally aren't built on a foundation of cheating, and as much as it might hurt to admit, if your woman cheats on you, you probably don't belong together. How can a man continue to love a woman who regards him so lightly she'll cheat on him?Any man wants to spend his life with a woman who loves and honors him - certainly not characteristics of a woman who cheats on her man.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Andrew Hunter enjoys helping men deal with the conflicts and challenges they experience in relating with women and helping them form successful relationships.