The Perfect Gift

The most intensive and scientific study that I have ever found on this subject was a research anthology of gift giving edited by Cele Otnes and Richard Beltramini, first published in the 1990's. Okay history to us now but its lessons holds true.

According to Otnes and Beltramini, for a gift to be considered perfect, it must contain the following 6 attributes.

1. The giver makes an extraordinary sacrifice.

Ever since the days of the bible, sacrifice has played a huge role in showing our love and commitment. This does not necessarily mean a financial sacrifice. Consider the effect on a wife if she were to know, that her husband had his secretary pick out her birthday present. Translation - he was not prepared to make a sacrifice of his time or his attention.

2. The giver wishes solely to please the recipient

Gifts within a family or between loved ones most likely lean towards this fairly quaint theory but gifts in the corporate world certainly have ulterior motives. Having said that, I think most people in the corporate world fully realize this and are okay with it. After all, it is better to receive than not to receive at all...

3. The gift is a luxury

The perfect gift must be a luxury. Appliances are out. A good rule is that the perfect gift should not have a power cord attached to it. A luxury may best be described as something we would like but we don't need. A gift needs to be special.

4. The gift is something uniquely appropriate to the recipient

This captures the old adage - it’s the thought that counts. The success of thinking deeply about a gift that would be truly desirable to the recipient causes the recipient to feel deeply appreciated. Compare this with a gift as impersonal as say, money, which is really communicating: "I cannot be bothered to think about what you would appreciate so here you go".

5. The recipient is surprised by the gift

The perfect gift must be a surprise. This is why we wrap gifts up so as to conceal them until the moment of the great unveiling. The delight of surprise is the reason why having to ask for a gift negates its value.

6. The recipient desires the gift.

Obviously the key focus of a gift is to please the recipient. Therefore is it kind of essential that the recipient desires the gift. Santa Claus has gained a monopoly on gift giving at Christmas time through his uncanny ability to magically predict what every child wants and for the most part, deliver their wishes on the magical day.

So when you next give gifts the exclamation that you are looking for is "Oh you shouldn't have" meaning it is absurdly extravagant and you should have because I love it. Questions about exchange vouchers and the keeping of receipts should raise a red flag.

Good Luck!