The first step towards getting what you want, is knowing what you want. I decided very early on that my business was going to support my time with my daughter and not suck away these valuable years with me at work
The first step towards getting
what you want, is knowing what you want. I decided very early on that my
business was going to support my time with my daughter and not suck away these
valuable years with me at work while she was with carers.
Even in my salaried job (when my daughter was a baby) I was very strict about
working 9 – 5pm and not a minute later. It took a bit of time to
un-learn my old work-late habits and for my boss and colleagues to adjust their
expectations about what and when I was able to deliver as part of my remit.
When you can get clear in your head about what’s going to work for you and
believe it genuinely, then that sincerity will come across in your negotiations
and you’re going to get the best results. Get clear about the benefits of
why you want a great work-life balance and get clear of the benefits for the
other people who will influence the outcome.
2. Prioritise Family Time
It’s easy to let minutes turn into
hours and hours turn into chunks of time that keep you away from home until way
passed the children’s bed times. It’s a slippery slope. Practice
raising your productivity during the day – don’t stop to chat, don’t ‘facebook’
or ‘youtube’, don’t mess around with your personal emails. Work at
work. Leave on time. Get home promptly. Children thrive on
routine and will thank you (when they’re 50!) for being there for them on a
regular basis. Remember, work-life balance includes a bit of everything;
earning, playing, bonding, studying, health, fitness, dreaming, growing … and
sleeping!
3. Allow An Hour For Home Management Each Evening
When my daughter’s gone to bed
it’s my time to check that the laundry’s up-to-date, there’s food prepared for
the next day, the kitchen’s cleaned up, the bathroom’s tidy and any school
correspondence, play dates or diary-planning is done.
Now this doesn’t take an hour every day, but I allow that time to make sure
that I’m on top of my home life. If I can allocate specific time like
this it means that my personal life can be kept separate to my work life, which
means I can get home on time and be totally focused on my daughter from 6-8pm every day.
4. Ask For Support
If you’re working part time or
full time, managing a home and caring for and encouraging your children single
handedly, I already know that you deserve a sainthood!!
Remember that to balance these things well over time is an art.
It takes a clear head, it takes good health and it takes lots of energy and
drive. Ask for help when you need it – if it’s a babysitter so you can
have a night out, a friend to come over and cook one night a week, a family
member to drive one of the kids to karate, or a colleague to take on some extra
projects at work to keep you from tipping into overwhelm – whatever it is, ask,
ask, ask!
Asking for support is not a failing, it’s the practical application of
wisdom. Your children rely on you to be at your best. True saints
practice humility!
5. Be Open With Your Children
It takes a lot to learn the
balance of sharing with and shielding from our
children. Age-appropriate conversations, when you need to have them can
be a life saver. I remember discussing with my then 2-year old that it was
really hard for me to be getting up in the middle of the night when she
called. ‘If you’re scared then call. If you just want someone to be
here to lie with you, don’t call. When you have 2 more sleeps in the day
time, mummy is working very hard to get everything done so that I can get home
for us to have fun before bath time, story time and bedtime’. It worked.
What also worked at 5-years old was the conversation about the consequences of
me not going to work. We talked through that the knock-on effects of this
would be no money coming into our household, the possibility of changing homes,
how we eat and what we wear, stopping holidays, and maybe even changing
some of our friendships.
These conversations aren’t about laying huge burdens on our children.
They are about asking them gradually and bit-by-bit to share a greater amount
of responsibility for contributing to the smooth running of the
household. Review the distribution of responsibility regularly as your
children get older. This is not just about your work-life balance. It’s about
your children’s too. And they’ll thank you for it in the end!
Jennifer Broadley is a qualified executive coach and the
founder of SuccessfulSingleParenting. For more information and a FR*EE Special
Report “ The 5 Secrets for Successful
Single Parenting” visit: http://www.successfulsingleparenting.com
