Have You Heard That Cry? Help, Save My Marriage!

More and more people are ending up talking with divorce lawyers these days instead of seeking help to "save my marriage", but does it really have to be that way?

It's estimated that 52% of marriages fail for one reason or another. It could be for bad reasons like abuse, both mental or physical, infidelity or any number of other things but what is the underlying cause of divorce and what can a person do to get the help to "save my marriage"?

The reasons that a lot of couples split and seek a divorce can be summed up in a few simple words.

Selfishness, when one or both of the parties involved in a relationship thinks more about themselves than the other person. This is a really one sided attitude that will keep a relationship from being strong and loving.

If you are seeing things in your marriage going downhill, you need to ask yourself, and answer honestly, am I being selfish and only wanting whats best for me or am I doing everything I can to give my spouse the attention and love that he or she deserves without thinking about what I want?

Infidelity is the primary cause of bteakup's in a marriage and should be avoided at all costs if you truly want to save your marriage. Infidelity goes right along with selfishness where you or your spouse starts seeing another person because they get treated much better and the spark that you felt seemingly is rekindled.

This isn't love, it's more like infatuation and should be avoided as it just creates more problems for those that are serious about saving their marriage. There are two kinds of pain that we are exposed to in our lives, physical pain and emotional pain.

Physical pain from an accident hurts and can sometimes be excruciating but emotional pain or heartache is the type of pain that can cause you to feel hurt more than any physical pain could ever do. Although emotional pain is not physical, it can cause physical pain and it seems to be more painful than anything that you have ever experienced in your life.

It causes you to be unaware of your everyday life by taking your mind off of the things you do on a daily basis like eating regular meals, paying your bills, enjoying your time off and spending quality time with your friends and family. Drinking, or drowning your sorrows, is another problem with emotional pain and should be avoided at all costs.

Money problems can be another cause of breaking up a couples marriage. Financial problems lead to arguments over almost everything like not being able to pay the rent on time, not having enough food for the month or not being able to go out and enjoy life like you thought you'd be able to. Couples that really want to save their marriage should adopt a policy of "wants and needs" and work together to overcome their budget battles.

So if you are thinking in the right direction of "I want to save my marriage", there are a couple of things that you can do to help start down the road to having a great marriage, even if you think it's broken beyond repair. First, seek professional help. This doesn't mean talking to your family or friends and laying out your troubles to them. Go to a professional counselor that can get you back on the road to a loving relationship.

Second, If you are already separated, don't push the other person to get back together, that will just push them further away. Take things slowly, a little at a time and talk rationally. If things start to get heated, just back off and try to talk at another time. Treat the other person with care and respect even though you may be feeling slighted and hurt.

The key is to always give more than you take from your relationship. If both parties can do that then neither one of you will be yelling those dreadful words, "Help, Save My Marriage"!