Spoiling your children at a young age can lead to many problems in the future.
It is difficult enough to raise children,
especially in times when you are unable to afford everything that they may want. When they are younger this is not so bad, but when they begin school, this opens up a whole new set of issues. They see that Joey has this and Tommy's mom just go the latest toy, and then you find yourself in the competition of a lifetime. It is a misconception, that if we love our children, then we should provide them with more, and spoil them appropriately.
This type of spoiling, however, has many drawback, the worst being that your child begins to feel that they are entitled to these items and the older they get the greater their demand become. If you have the money then you continue to spoil and keep giving your children what they want, since you do not want to see them upset. However, if you are less fortunate, you begin to feel guilty because you are unable to provide these items for your children, therefore causing them to be unhappy.
Recently my family's financial status has taken a drastic change, which has brought this battle into my home. I feel guilty saying no to all the "necessary essentials" of adolescence, but it has to be done. Designer clothing, iPods, the latest cells phones that allow you to watch TV and go on the internet- I've been told no teenager can do without these items, yet my seem to be getting along just fine. No don't get me wrong, I have purchase these items for my children, just not at the extent that they want or the extent that their friends have.
Well, an interesting thing happened. My daughter, pushing 16 met a boy who will be turning 18 soon. A nice, well spoken boy, whose mother passed away when he was only 13 years old. This young man, works full time, had to leave school at an early age to work, and has an absentee father, so he lives with his brother and his family. This guy has told my daughter that she must be rich, because in our home we have several computers, cable TV and a nice television. For him this was a sign of wealth.
The most important thing for you to realize:
When giving you child something, never take it for granted that you are able to do so.
Working hard to get what you want is a great lesson to demonstrate to your family.
Wealth is just a perception.
Parents, it is important that you know, it does not matter how much luxuries you can provide for your children. Whether they have it all, or just a little they will survive and will become well rounded adults in the end.
