Prioritizing Keeps Parents Sane in Untidy Homes

I can barely remember life before children. One thing I do remember is that it wasn't nearly as difficult to keep the house in order and all the different aspects of life organized. Some days it is a struggle just to get dinner on the table at a reasonable hour. Some weeks the vacuum never gets used. Sometimes the dishes are left dirty. Accepting these lapses in the status of my home has been the greatest and most productive step towards a peaceful home.
I have always been very particular. As a child every item had its place. Once or twice a week I would cycle through the entire house cleaning windows and mirrors. As I became an adult and left my mother's home I became very set in my ways. There is a place for everything. Each spice has its own place in the spice rack; the refrigerator and pantry are incredibly organized. Before the first baby was born it was a breeze keeping everything in pristine condition.
When he was just an infant it was usually still pretty simple to keep everything as orderly as I wanted it. But once he was crawling my child made it far more difficult to keep things up to my standards. My husband and I were both going a little nutty. Neither of us knew how to cope with the growing lack of order in our home. The tension and frustrations grew and we both knew that this was not going to work.
There was no way that suddenly our Little Man would maintain the same expectations for order that we hold. Trying to take care of the house and the Little Man were definitely not working. Taking care of a child is definitely a major commitment of time as well as other tangible and intangible resources. We chose to reevaluate the situation and decide what our priorities were. It was the best decision we could have made.
By choosing which chores can get postponed (if necessary) a lot of the stress of getting it all done was relieved. There are particular parts of the house that need to remain orderly in order for my husband and me to remain sane and functional, i.e. dishes cleaned, bed made, counters cleared. But in realizing that it wasn't the end of the world if the mopping waited, as long as the floor was swept, I found that I was able to accomplish more. Shortening my "must-do" list to the essentials made it so that the whole list got done, plus some. 
Until the children are grown and in their own homes I do not think my house will be up to my standards. But I have found a way to remain sane in the face of the chaos, and that gives me all the peace of mind I could need. By taking the time to decide which things are most important to me, I have been able to make my home be a comfortable place that I am proud of, even when there are action figures and cars on the coffee table.